Small Dogs found in Lead Junction Cigar Boxes

 

The mystery of muffled yipping noises heard in Lead Junction has been solved

4th Wonder of Crick County

Just outside of Flatburgh is Sand Point famous for the Sands Restaurant serving Double Dear Meat Burgers and Smoked Grass Carp Salad. Flatburgh residents rarely notice the Lighthouse at Sand Point.  But the John boats plying Crick Creek look to the horizon on stormy days. 

After a busy day of dynamiting bullheads and carp a big old Double Dear Meat Burger and swig of Grain Belt hits the spot.  So if your a hankerin' for Double and Belt, just head down Crick Road til you get to Hoot Owl Church, take a right and head right through Flatburgh and take a left at the Y road and you're almost there.

Tomorrow the Colosseum at Fieldville Park, the 5th wonder of Crick County.  Remember, this weekend is the start of Dove Season within the city limits of Fieldville.  Get your Dove license at any Live Bait vending machine or county office.  Remember dove hunting is discouraged near schools or liquor stores.  Dove hunting is a privilege not a right, keep Fieldville safe and always shoot responsibly.  Bag your limit and attend the annual Dove cook off at next Saturday.

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The Great Pyramid at Lead Junction

The 3rd Wonder of Crick County is the Great Pyramid at Lead Junction.  There are rumors of others in the area, but they either no longer exist or have not yet been found.  Persistent tales coming from mushroom hunters and deer-jackers suggest we may someday find others.

Many citizens of Lead Junction claim there is an unexplained presence at the pyramid - they feel they are being watched.  No one can explain this widely-held belief.  It should also be noted that every child born in Lead Junction has blue eyes and blond hair, this is regardless of their parents' genetics.

There are also many stories of these children meeting at the base of the pyramid at midnights with a full moon.  Then there's the stories of them holding hands and forming a ring around a child from another...oh well it's just what kids do around here, no big deal.

Tomorrow, the 4th wonder of Crick County - the Light House at Sand Point near Flatburgh.

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The 2nd Wonder of Crick County

Pictured here is the world famous Colossus of Cattown.  This basaltic formation has existed in Cattown since time immemorial.  It is believed that it was carved by the ancient Egyptians that lived here in Iowa.  Cattown built its midway around it, and the rest is history.  Authorities still disagree why Cattown is named Cattown.

Many a Fieldville high schooler has driven to Cattown late at night and rubbed its nose for good luck or to win a football game against Flatburgh.

Tomorrow the 3rd Wonder of Crick County - the Great Pyramid at Lead Junction.

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Famed Loveboat Nearly Swamped in Deluge

Fieldville - The famed Crick County Loveboat was nearly swamped yesterday in the deluge that inundated Fieldville and the surrounding communities.

County officials say that the so-called "Loveboat" will be salvaged and brought back to its dock at Lake Quatro.  Damage estimates were not immediately available.

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Unknown Fieldville

Fieldville - one of the many treasures of Fieldville are all the undiscovered places.  Today we're going to talk about one of the seven wonders of Crick County - The Hanging Gardens.

The Hanging Gardens are located in the alley behind Corn Avenue - and yeppers, they sure are a sight to see.  Who needs to visit Babylon when we have hanging gardens right here in Fieldville.  You don't have to fly half way 'round the world, you can just drive your pickup right up to them and wonder.  So tomorrow after coffee take that little detour back of Corn Ave, and get an eyeful.

Next the Colossus of Cattown - yes, just down the road right here in Crick County, Cattown has its own wonder.

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Street Level is Now Covering Fieldville and all of Crick County

Street Level is now covering Fieldville and all of Crick County.  The newest county in Iowa was just added by the Iowa legislature to have an even number of counties and add legislators.  The southeast Iowa county already has a vibrant forward looking future, Fieldville's Motto: If it's in the way - tear it down. Street Level is proud to provide news to, of, about, and concerning Crick County citizens.  Now for the news.


County Officials Demand Meth-Labs: Clean up or risk closure.

Fieldville - Crick County officials have tackled the subject of local meth-labs with a hard-hitting memo to be posted in the basement of the courthouse sometime next week.  In it meth-lab owners are urged to clean up their facilities or risk closure for as long as a week.  The County Proctor was heard to say, "How can we expect to expand Fieldville with colorful pole barn business structures when we have all these ugly meth-labs."

An unnamed official told Street Level off-the-record, the county is willing to risk the wrath of meth-lab entrepreneurs.

Zoning meth-labs is being considered by the County Zoning Committee, but they don't have enough pages of proposed language ready for public review.

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The Last Stick(s) of the Bunch

Enough Sticks already!

It has been a week since the great trek to the State Fair, and while I have more than enough stick pictures to fill a medium sized hog confinement shed, it's time to move on.

Shown here are one of the oldest on-a-stick foods. A brief click on the photo will reveal much of the stickiness and sucrose laden qualities of this old favorite.  It is hard to imagine just how many teeth have been left in a bite of these old timers.  Now it's time to get back to important things like unicorns and garden gnomes.  

I am going to the OMG mall today, have to quickly braid a necklace of garlic to ward off the crazies in $200.00 pre-ruined jeans.  Maybe I'll get a tattoo at one of the kiosks, or set of Hawkeye dinnerware.  

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Dateline - August 23, 2309 - D'moine IA

Citizens - Archeological Zone 53 A.K.A  Fairgrounds, State, IA, Midway - has yielded yet another treasure. To the right note the 2-D depiction of a feeding scene.  Although a character of a canine can be seen in lower part of the depiction, scientists assure us that the time period shown here is not one in which dogs were commonly used as food. If one enlarges the depiction (photograph) it is believed the female wearing eye appliances is using what was referred to as a cell phone.  One can read "COLD POP" which is believed to be a sucrose based drug used by children of the time.

The (Photo-graph) pronounced {foto'graf) was recovered beneath below the arena area that has come to be known as THE BILL RILEY STAGE.  Further, study of it will be required to determine why it was manufactured.

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Derek Zoolander and the State Fair Walk-Off

Who can forget the gas station scene from Zoolander? If you have this should serve to remind you. Oh, and by the way if you look closely you will see at least one person eating something on a stick.

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Giving the Stick a Rest

Here is one of the few items at the State Fair that is not on stick, but you can certainly get them on a stick if you wish.

More to come...

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The New White Meat - It's for Lunch on a Stick

Here is a photo of the actual preparation of a stick/food/product. It's a Pork Chop on a Stick, and it's mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm good, as Andy used to say to Opie, or was it Aunt Bea? An alarming statistic was posted near the "Pork Chop on a Stick" vendor - "A pork chop on a stick is sold every 4 seconds during the fair." If my math can be believed, and that is a stretch, that's 900 an hour. These sell for $5 a pop, which is kind of the going price for stick food. That conservatively suggests that Pork Chop on a Stick generates something like $500,000.00 for the Pork Producers during the fair.

Still more to come...

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On a Stick

More to come...

Send corsets, lo-fat Twinkies-lite, cheeseless nachos, dancing shoes, chocolate covered rice cakes, a musical adaptation of "Children of the Corn", gauze parachutes, door to door salesmen/pollsters/proselytizers/umbrella repairmen, coin operated clockwork lawns, and tweets to @cjswift

State Supports Scaring Children and Stick-Food

As you can clearly see above the state of Iowa is supporting the scaring of children for money. Above is a so-called "ride" for children wherein they may board chairs designed to look like the giant hands of a female Arnold Schwarzenegger reprising Conan the Barbarianette. The so-called "ride" lifts children into the air and then proceeds to spin them about by hydrolic arms. One is advised not to stand underneath, as it is not at all uncommon for there to be a rain of predigested stick food.

And while on the subject of stick food here are two examples:

Eggs on a Stick

Chicken on a Stick

Don't worry there's more where those came from.

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Going to the State Fair Tomorrow

Street Level is going to the State Fair tomorrow for the many photo-op available. In the meantime, all the nutballs talking about health care as if it were an insurance policy or the end of the world, or whatever insane thing is the knee-jerk de jour, have been dumped into the corn crib at the farm so that they can be contained. If you notice a persistent hum from northeast of town and an unearthly glow - its the nutcases who think it's great to give millionaires more money so they can have what should be a right. Wassilla aside, you don't have to wipe the lipstick off the pig to see that there will be some that will benefit from the current discussions, and they are not the idiots who watch Fox News - guess who>><<

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A guest editorial by Craig Swift for Street Level:

One more season of Thursday Night Live ended last Thursday. Street Level wasn't available to document all of the shows, but here are a few that managed to get in front of the lens. Little bit of Jim Morrison first:

Yeah, c'mon

When the music's over
When the music's over, yeah
When the music's over
Turn out the lights
Turn out the lights
Turn out the lights, yeah

When the music's over
When the music's over
When the music's over
Turn out the lights
Turn out the lights
Turn out the lights

Click on the photos below for a much
better view of this year's TNL

Person wearing a Woodstock enhanced hat.

So that's the end of Thursday Night Live for 2009 - next year will be 2010 (pronounced twenty-ten) and it seems a long way away.

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The Woodstock Effect

Local Man Demonstrates Fruit Levitation

As the country continues to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, backgrounds to photos tend to reflect the time. As a local man demonstrated the technique of levitating organic fruit, others looked on. It should be noted that it is not recommended to levitate objects on city property as it is probably against some rule or something. Levitation should only be practiced in the home among adults. Non-adult personages practicing levitation without parental supervision are subject to community service at McDonald's during the breakfast shift.

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Street Level Wishes to Apologize for Some Recent Events

El Gran Contoy Casino and Grocery Store of Chorrera Panama (SA) D.B.A. Street Level, wishes to apologize for some recent events at political meetings. Recently, the international headquarters of Street Level mowed its lawn. As the mowing occurred it was noticed that herds of wildlife was flushed out. It is believed that the squirrels carried many nuts out of the yard and into the world at large. Pictured above are some of the newly freed nuts showing up at political events. Aliens have fled the earth in fear of the whacks that have been unleashed. Strangely, those politicians whom are owned by insurance companies have been largely immune to shouting nutcase escapees from the Street Level landscaping project.

It is believed that as the lawn grows back, the squirrels will bring the nuts back to Street Level and it will again be safe to be a politician.

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Continuing Summer Weather Takes Toll on Blogosphere

The continuing summer weather has lowered the already snarky level of journalism found on the blogosphere. Street Level attempted to contact several know bloggers, but they were unavailable - one left on his phone, "If you're trying to get a hold of me, try the beach." Street Level thought about trying another, but after all is said and done, there is a billabong with my name on it.

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Looks like all of the Them are Still on Vacation

The entire editorial staff of Street Level is out at Bob's Billabong catching rays, and kicking back. In the meantime, random photos are posting themselves for filler.

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Whoa! Street Level Must Still be on Vacation

You never know who you will meet in downtown Washington.

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Random Photo

No Earmarks Too Big

It speaks for itself...and he has a really short Anglo Saxon name. He will....arrrgh.

The editors of Street Level apologize for the post above it is not the policy of Street Level to endorse candidates for public office. Please see book two in our three ring binder series of policies and procedures as amended.

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Iranian Judge Shown With His Advisers

Pictured here is Judge Abolqasem Salavati and his advisers in his Tehran Courtroom Saturday.

Tehran - in another round of perfectly "Fair and Balanced" justice کانگورو
which roughly translates as the Court of Large Hopping Australian Marsupials, is now employing advisers to whisper into the ears of their judges. Pictured next to Judge Salavati are the Three 3-ring binders of justice, which are the basis of Iranian justice and running a Pizza Hut. "We can expect a lot of justice to come out here in the next few days," judge Salavati was heard to say Saturday in his courtroom. The judge is expected to hand out many sentences of
پاکسازی حبس بودن (translated as Cleansing Incarceration) and other justice stuff from the binders.

Street Level wishes to apologize for the outages last week due to the denial of service attacks on this blog by the minions of Satan, and Fox News. It is expected the attacks were brought on when it became known that Craig JOE Swift, Uncle Joe is throwing his hat in the ring for US Senator for 2010. Uncle Joe is a senior editor for Street Level and the co-founder Chicago Symphony Orchestra. He was pivotal in bringing the Statue of Liberty to the United States.

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Today is the Exact Middle of the Summer

Depending on what kind of karma you carry around today is, either all downhill to ice storms and frozen pipes, or we are experiencing another perfect day in paradise. If you still don't have that perfect swimming suit body, half of the summer is still left to get there, good luck. For those of us who will enjoy every second of this perfect weather, yeah. You others, I'm sorry that winter is almost here. I suppose there are people who are thinking that we are just that much closer to next summer - whoa, that's a little too optimistic for me. Whichever you are, take a moment and walk down the road and enjoy what we have.

Tomorrow - quite a lot of whining about something...

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Washington at its Best

Warning: if you have crappy DSL or other bad connections - pause the video and go make a sandwich or something - you will have a much better experience if you do...

That's 16 hours of Washington in 53 seconds - I hope you were able to multi-task your brains out during the vid. If you saw somebody you know, let them know the URL

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Iced Tea on a Sunday Afternoon

Drinking iced tea on a Sunday afternoon can lead to cranking a flivver in your shirt sleeves. It is dangerous - all you reading this, as you are driving down hwy 218, should text everyone you know to put a stop to it. As everyone knows iced tea is a gateway to BLTs and home canning. Why do we allow people outside their home in shirt sleeves? Why do we allow ladies on trains without a chaperone. Roughhousers and scallywags of every stripe are on today's trains, and it shocking the kind of things they get up to on our nation's railways. Cards and cigars are not unknown.

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Flowers and Snow Fence

Here is a bit of CYS - I call it Flowers and Snow Fence.

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Morning Post

An unretouched photo of Bob Dorr and the Blue Band at Celebrate Your Senses last Saturday night. More later after Street Level catches up after the weekend.

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Street Level is at Celebrate Your Senses - Why Aren't You?