New Release From the Palace

 Fieldville - The palace has just released the new "Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader" devotional lamp.  It's perfect for every citizen's Proctorial Home Sanctorium.  Fully approved by Local #42 of the Brotherhood of the Druidic Path, the new Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader devotional lamp will light citizen families' meditations on Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's benign magnificence.  Required in each citizen's Proctorial Home Sanctorium, by this Friday, the Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader devotional lamp may be purchased near the Citizens' Gate of the palace at the Proctor of Cash and Carry booth - cash only(special devotional bulb not included).

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader devotional lamps now available!

Biff Ronny Introduces Buffy

Cattown - Biff Ronny introduced Buffy today during a grueling sweep of the Cattown Coffee Shoppe District.  He has added a bit more to his stump speech - he now says that when he wins the presidency of Cattown he will let the laid-off workers from the defunct Cattown Potato Cannery work on every menial job in Cattown for the sake of their dignity.

Biff introduces Buffy

3rd Anniversary Coming in 6 Weeks

Fieldville - the palace reminds all citizens that the third anniversary of the world-famous Fieldville Tire Station is coming in six weeks and the celebrations will be bigger and better than ever.  Still burning, the Fieldville Tire Station Fire can be seen as far away as Flattburgh and even to the edge of the earth.  Citizens are invited to bring a tire or two to throw into the Cob Park Fountain and make a wish - you won't get your wish unless you play.

Bring a tire and make a wish.

Cattown Lection Coverage - Biff With His Sword of Morality

Cattown - Presumed front-runner Biff Ronny today scaled the walls of Cattown College with his sword of morality.  As he neared the top he was heard to say, "I've had enough of this big government - all the egghead professors here are immoral democratists on the public dole.  When I'm President of Cattown I'll privatize Cattown College.  We'll sell the naming rights and outsource teaching to more efficient cheap labor from the Artists' District."

Immoral egghead professors beware.

Special Cattown Coverage II

Cattown - Front runner Biff Ronny said today, "Poor people are stupid they're all complaining about gas prices - well when I want to get somewhere I just fly."

Poor people are stupid

Special Cattown Coverage

Cattown - Your correspondent has crossed the border of the Free Territories of Fieldville into the vile Provence of Cattown to cover what they call lections.  It seems that lections are where citizens select their own leaders rather than do it the right way.  This year is having a lection for president of Cattown, running against the current president is the former Governor of Lead Junction Biff Ronny.  Biff Ronny started his campaign for president of Cattown when he received the golden sword of morality from a vortex of righteousness that formed at his feet in front of his mansion.

Biff Ronny accepting his Sword of Morality.

The Minister of Morality (Pro Tem) Reports a Spike in Thought Crime

Fieldville - The Minister of Morality (Pro Tem) has reported a spike in thought crime this week.  He believes that it is tied somehow to the satanic items dug up two years ago by the Municipal  Archaeologist during Fieldville's Cob Park Revitalization Project. Thaumaturgic radiance has also shown up after that project and there are no longer any cats in Cob Park.  Chupacabras have been seen walking the halls of Fieldville High and there has been no music coming over the walls of the Artists' District for over 6 days.  The Minister of Morality (Pro Tem) has said, "Whenever portents appear in the sky or Crooked Crick turns to blood, your regular citizen becomes jumpy and disconcerted, but that belies trust in the infallibility of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the Council of Proctors - which, of course, is a serious thought crime."

Thought Crimes are on the rise.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader SEZ: Don't Worry Be Happy!