Street Level - from this side, and back

ODBSL-T 22nd Dream

2012-01-25T16:43:00.000-06:00

Thanks for your support

ODBSL-T is now at Mud Lake

2012-01-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

Mud Lake, the Southern Palace - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader is now on his annual retreat to the Southern Palace for some much needed R&R. On his first night there he boldly stepped into the night waters without his bodyguard. The Fieldville palace was abuzz this morning with possible implications of this turn of events. The Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's spoke person and direct in line for the Supremenessship, Biff Ronnie said, "I never question Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's actions, they're always perfect in every way."

Biff Ronnie does not question Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - ever!

Council of Proctors Introduces the "Candy as Wages Act"

2012-01-07T13:37:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - the Candy as Wages Act sailed through the weekly Proctorial meeting last night and is to implemented tomorrow. The act simply stated allows citizens to pay residents candy instead of wages for yard work, construction, or computer programming. "They just waste money when you give it to them, this will be much better for everyone, " the Proctor of Justice and Taxes said.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader endorses the Candy as Wages Act.

ODSL Uses Thinking Goggles

2012-01-04T12:18:00.001-06:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has put on is thinking goggles to solve the problem of what to do with the extra day that the International Brotherhood #42 of the Druidic Path has stated will occur this year. All citizens are urged to take this seriously and work with their local proctor to make this a safe and hygienically moral year for one and all.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader in his "Thinking Goggles"

Thanks for your support please send - thingies, stuff, frough frough, extra commas, backyard/backdoor politicians, Freudian slips, freedom fries, evil-doers, crock-pots, wind-up proclaimer clocks, cotton bricks, peanut brittle ant hills, zip drives, very large nose pads, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina opus felix

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Takes a Much Needed Break

2012-01-03T13:44:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Just before Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader leaves on his annual trip to Mud Lake, he likes to enjoy relaxing moments between his hectic schedule of pronouncements and judgements. Today found him on the steps of the palace enjoying some sunshine with some prominent citizens.

Thanks for your support

Happy Festivus One and All

2011-12-30T10:38:00.000-06:00

Fieldville -

A Festivus Repost from 09
Happy Festivus one and all from:

The Dear Supreme Leader, Biff, Frank the Head Druid, the Mayor of Cattown, The entire reconstituted Council of Proctors, Citizens and Residents, of all Zones, the Smith Family Values : Dick, Jane, Sally, Daddy, and of course Sailor Boy, and even from the Artists District.

HAPPY FESTIVUS and a very MERRY PLANTING SEASON.

Summer is almost here!!!!

Thanks for your support - send any proof of intelligent life in the Senate, and tweets to @cjswift

Grimy Claws is Coming to Town - Soon

2011-12-21T06:20:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - As the sun continues to disappear, Grimy Claws is coming to town. Citizen children know that he knows when they are sleeping and knows when they are awake, he knows when they are good or bad - so they hide under the bed for goodness sake.

If Grimy Claws sees his shadow tomorrow the sun will disappear forever!

Grimy is Coming

2011-12-17T16:29:00.000-06:00

Get under the bed...

Spotted near the North Pole...

Undead Evil-Doer Zombie Attacks Biff

2011-12-15T11:08:00.000-06:00

No Biff, no! Do not let the evil-doer zombie eat your brain!

Fieldville - Today, Biff was attacked by the evil-doer zombie, who remains undead, but dedicated to eating Biff's brain. While Biff struggled with the zombie his new assistant Jerry played a few riffs to buck him up.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Announces Biff's New Assistant

2011-12-12T09:48:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus announced Biff's new assistant - Jerry. While Biff is out of Fieldville trying to catch Grimy Clause before he wreaks his annual havoc, Jerry will see to Biff's regular taxation duties.

Thanks for your support

Prepare a Place Under Your Bed

2011-11-22T11:44:00.000-06:00

Time for all citizen children to prepare a safe place under their beds for Biff's return on Solstice Night.

Better Citizens Power Up

2011-11-21T15:32:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - The better class of citizens are powering up this year for the upcoming solstice celebrations. While citizen children hide under their beds to escape the Wrath of Biff, residents of the Artists' District gather in their homes and place weapons on their doorsteps for Biff to take to citizens' houses.

Good citizens are powering up for soltice.

Deluxe Kitchenette Studio Apartment Now on the Market

2011-11-14T14:28:00.000-06:00

Now available for Fieldville residents with proper ID

Kitchenette includes towels

Porch Boy™ Real Estate Management Offerings

2011-11-10T09:12:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Porch Boy™ Real Estate Management, a wholly own subsidiary of the Porch Boy family of corporations is sharing the rare rental properties located outside of the Artists' District. Today's offering is a cute little three family three room apartment complete with sink. Reasonable terms* 3,000 cobs per occupant.

*Three month deposit, one month cleaning deposit, no food, no phone, no pets, must provide own light bulbs, water, heat, and electric. Must present at time of inquiry a current Fieldville ID, a valid Justice and Taxes background check, and indemnify Porch Boy against any and all damages during and after the period of rental.

All this could be yours.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Models New Proctor Headgear

2011-11-06T10:48:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Today the palace release an image of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader wearing the new Proctorial headgear for this season.

This season's proctorial headgear

Hotel Fieldville Institutes New Policy

2011-10-31T16:07:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Hotel Fieldville instituted a new policy of no sheets no bugs. After a spate of bed bug complaints Hotel Fieldville has removed all the sheets and mattresses from its rooms to better serve its clients. They later plan to have a bed bug sniffing roach to find any extraneous vermin.

Bed bugs are a thing of the past at Hotel Fieldville

Council of Proctors Orders New Impenetrable Fence Built

2011-10-30T17:17:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Tired of evil-doers coming across the Free Territories of Fieldville border, they ordered an impenetrable fence be built to keep Fieldville citizens safe from evil-doing, poor moral hygiene, and non-appreciation of what the better citizens do for their lessers by being their lessors.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader suggests electrifying Fieldville's new fence.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader appears without his clothes

2011-10-25T14:01:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader appeared at Mud Lake without his clothes. He left Fieldville early today to take advantage of the unseasonable warm weather.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader appeared without his clothes at Mud Lake.

Artist's Concept of the new FFSSS now being readied

2011-10-24T12:10:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - After last months announcement that Fieldville would enter the space race against Cattown, citizens and residents alike have been wondering what the "Fieldville Free States Star Ship" would look like. Below is an artist's concept of the officers galley and three officers relaxing smoking Cob Cigarettes and drinking Grimy Tea, both fine products of the Porchboy Family of Corporations, Inc.

[Above] officers enjoy Cob Cigarettes and Grimy Tea on their way to the stars.

First Proctor Trading Card Released Today

2011-10-20T11:01:00.000-05:00

Front

Back

Thanks for your support

New Council of Proctors Photo Now Available

2011-10-19T16:17:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors announced today, they have a new photograph of themselves available to the public. It was noted that the popular trading cards of each individual proctor will be available for the holiday shopping season.

Trading cards will be available for the holidays - collect your favorites, collect them all.

Council of Proctors Introduces a New Citizen Class

2011-10-15T15:15:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors today declared a new class of citizen for Fieldville. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes said, "We just have too many citizens that are well, how do I say this, better than the others. They deserve better than the lower class of citizen and to enjoy more privileges than the rabble. We decided to call them the Criminally Exempt Order."

Porchboy's new CEO says, "we sell to the rabble, we aren't the rabble."

The Council of Proctors will call the Criminally Exempt Order CEOs for short. The head of the Porchboy Family of Corporations, Incorporated was named the first CEO by the council.

Porch Boy™ Sues Bag O' Glasses for Trademark Infringement

2011-10-12T20:24:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Porchboy™ filed papers at the palace today for unfair use of a trademarked name and confusion among consumers. Bag O' Glasses could raise a question in a consumer's mind whether Bag O' Glasses is somehow related to the beloved children's toy Bag O' Glass™.

Thanks for your support

Bag O' Glasses CEO Unveils New Improved Business Plan

2011-10-12T18:02:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - The CEO of Bag O' Glasses unveiled today, a new improved business plan. Buoyed, by the Council of Proctors enactment of the Freedom Through Budget Reduction Act, Bag O' Glasses CEO, Monty Banks said, "We were looking at how we could reduce employee benefits and salaries, and it just hit us - JUST GET RID OF THE EMPLOYEES. First we thought that we could sell it as a new safety feature, but then we decided that we would pitch it as a new richer customer experience." Starting today, all Bag O' Glasses kiosks will be fully automated.

Newly automated Bag O' Glasses kiosk at the Fieldville's East Side Strip Mall

Thanks for your support.

Bureau of Budget Reduction

2011-10-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today, the Council of Proctors enacted the Freedom Through Budget Reduction Act. This new law will allow citizens to enjoy their inalienable right to low budgets and moral hygiene. The Freedom Through Budget Reduction Act calls for a slight 10% tax increase in order to pay for the addtional Justice and Taxes Enforcers who will be needed to assure citizen freedom.

Freedom through budget reduction.

Strange Craft Seen in Skies

2011-10-10T17:32:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Strange craft have been spotted in the skies near Cattown. Watch this space for needed budget reductions to eliminate this threat.

Cattown Evildoers are causing further budget reductions in Fieldville!

Porchboy Introduces the Urban Collection

2011-10-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

Fieldville's Newest Citizen Full Sure Proud of Herself

2011-10-05T17:01:00.000-05:00

A'fore You Cook Another Opposum - See What Porchboy Offers.

2011-10-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

Porchboy Industries™, also doing business as the Porchboy Family of Companies, Incorporated™, Equxox Brand Security Systems™, and GrimyPopXXSugar™, has introduced the Kitchen-Liner™, a fully automatic oven range for citizen homemakers. Just pop in a fully prepared meal in any of the Kitchen-Liner's convenient compartments, and watch your meal almost prepare itself.

Now with a decorative panel that comes in either white or red.

Council of Proctors Awards New Power and Magic Contract

2011-10-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today the Council of Proctors awarded an new fifty year contract to the Reddy Kilowatt Corporation™, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Porchboy Corporation of Companies™, to provide power and magic to Fieldville.

Power and magic to be provided by the Reddy Kilowatt Corporation™

Fieldville Municipal Archaeologist Reconstructs the Headless Goddess of Luck

2011-09-28T12:51:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Municipal Archaeologist has produced an "Artist's Conception" of how the Headless Goddess of Luck may have looked in the distant past. Many members of Local 23 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Path argue that Fieldville may be as old as one hundred and twenty-two years, but most citizens dismiss that number as preposterous. As a citizen said today at the Cob Cafe, "It defies logic to think that anything could be older than a hundred years, just show me the proof."

Artist's Conception of the Headed Goddess of Love

New Spotlight/Camera Tower Installed in Cob Park

2011-09-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors today ordered a new Spotlight/Camera tower to be erected in Cob Park. The installation of the tower is a direct result of the council's concern that their latest decree will not be followed. Labeled as the "NO" decree by residents of the Artists' District, it states that there will be NO fall clean up this year in Fieldville. Understandably, the residents of the Artists' District are furious as it will deprive them of their source of plastic toys and furniture for a full six months until next judgement day when the sun comes back to Fieldville. The Spotlight/Camera will assure that no one from the Artists' District will be plying the streets of the Citizen Zone looking for their treasured trash.

No trash day for the residents of the Artists' District this year!

Fieldville Citizens Prepare for Loss of Sunlight

2011-09-21T13:02:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - With the upcoming 6 month loss of sunlight, Fieldville citizens have begun their year preparations for the "Season of Darkness". From the palace staff to the lowest resident of the Artists' District, kitchens across the Free Territories of Fieldville are working overtime to assure that pork famine during the Second Cattown War, won't happen again.

MMM, mmm Parson's Nose Pie!

Local 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path Called to Citizen's Home

2011-09-19T21:01:00.000-05:00

Breaking News - Local 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path called to citizen's home to investigate the appearance of numerous satanic objects stuck in his yard. With the help of their special Z-ray imagenator, they provided Street Level with this image.

Satanic object appearing in Fieldville, again.

Artists' District Gets a New Security Light

2011-09-17T16:02:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - Due to a rash of graffiti on the portal to the Artists' District, the Proctor of Justice and Taxes has installed a new security light on that foul gate. One particular graffito has annoyed Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. He said today, "We are not amused by vandalism caused by the thugs that inhabit the Artists' District. Just because we are now fully self-actualized does not mean, our personage can be impugned by members of the Artists' District. Oh, and by the way, citizens are required to memorize my latest memoir, "It's All About Me" by next judgement day, thanks for your support."

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader is not amused.

Our dear supreme leader's memorise

2011-09-16T21:10:00.000-05:00

Thanks for your support

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Sails Mud Lake

2011-09-12T13:19:00.001-05:00

Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Sailed Mud Lake this weekend. The southern palace stated that "Our Dearness was a fantastic sailor, like everything that he does, he was perfect from the start. Many experienced sailors gathered around Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader to get tips that would improve their seamanship.

Thanks for your support

Citizens rejoice

2011-09-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Citizens and residents alike rejoiced when the Fieldville Ale Company tanker pulled into the Fish Lane Liquor Store with its weekly supply of Fieldville Ale.

This week's supply of Fieldville Ale has finally arrived

Dear Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader

2011-09-07T11:31:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - Today the palace announced that as part of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's program of self realization, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader will give advice to normal citizens FREE OF CHARGE. The following is the first installment:

Dear Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader:

You are my hero and you are dearly beloved at our family altar. My taxpaying dad loves to talk about your exploits in the Cattown Wars, and your justice in dealing with the evil-doers. I am a junior at Fieldville High and love Fieldville High's Fighting Fighters, but the proctor of our school wants to raise next year's graduation, desk rental, and janitorial fees. Some of my friends, not me, don't think it's fair, because Flattburgh High's fee's are less and they even have classes like art and waterboarding. We all know that it is a privilege to live in the Free Territories of Fieldville, Besides, Flattburgh still owes Fieldville billions of cobs for their complacency in the Cattown Wars, shouldn't Flattburgh pay our fees, since we will be taxpaying citizens and they are only Flattburghers?

Yours in Fieldville's future,

Name withheld for fear of decapitation.

Dear Fear of Decapitation:

Fieldville High is the best educational institution in the Free Territories of Fieldville, and you should be proud to be part of it. Complaining taxpayers have no place in Fieldville citizen society, it's the kind of thing I would expect from the Artists' District. Speaking of art, there is no place in our schools for classes that don't add to our tax base, and we all know what the Artists' District is like. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and pay the fees that your proctor so deservedly demands.

Your Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.

The palace now gives free advice

Fish Lane Liquor Store Now Open 4 Hours a Day

2011-08-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The proprietors of the Fish Lane Liquor Store announced today they would now be open 4 hours a day - no word yet on which 4 hours.

Fish Lane Liquor Store Extends Hours

Thanks for your support

Citizens Disgruntled Over New Justice and Taxes Ruling

2011-08-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - With the persistent rumours of water possibly falling from the sky, Street Level has reposted a classic post.

There was a palpable air of tension pervading Cob Park this morning as citizens learned of the new Justice and Taxes ruling. According to sources near the Proctory, the Proctor of Justice and Taxes is planning to levy a municipal water usage fee for water that has fallen on citizens' properties during the last few day. According to undisclosed sources, the Proctor of Justice and Taxes sees the rain as direct competition with municipal water. These sources say that when the proctor heard that some citizens were erecting devices to capture the "free" water - it was the last straw. The proctory has estimated that 167,000 gallons of "free" water has fallen on each acre of Fieldville during the last week. No word yet on what the fee will be for each gallon of "free" water.

Citizens Disgruntled Over "Free" Water Fee

Thanks for your support - free tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Eat Your Carrots or Else!

2011-08-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has issued a reminder that you should eat your carrots or else.

Thanks for your support.

Glorious Spontaneous Victory Gas Declared Safe by Bands of Roving Pigeons

2011-08-08T13:09:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - Bands of roving pigeons seem to have declared Glorious Spontaneous Victory (GSV) gas safe for pigeons. Coupled with this weekend's declaration from the Council of Proctors that they deny Glorious Spontaneous Victory gas - spraying of GSV gas has resumed in areas near Cattown and the Artists' District.

Pigeons used as canaries.

Council of Proctors Issues a Blanket Denial of Everything.

2011-08-07T14:01:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today the Council of Proctors issued a proclamation denying everything. While the document generally denies everything, it specifically denies Climate Change and any or all culpability for any unfortunate changes in Fieldville's local fauna as the result of using "Glorious Spontaneous Victory" gas against Cattown during the glorious victory over evil-doers last year.

Glorious Spontaneous Victory gas is blameless.

Thanks for your support.

Proctor of Science and Upholstery Denies Climate Change

2011-08-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Proctor of Science and Upholstery, in an official statement has denied Climate Change is a problem. After 235 days straight of above average temperatures the Proctor of Science and Upholstery is blaming Cattown and the invention of the Heat Index for Fieldville's latest heat wave.

The invention of the so called "Heat Index" is the problem.

Thanks for your support.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader's 67th Dream

2011-07-31T13:17:00.000-05:00

Our Dear Supreme Leader's 67th Dream

Vile Heat Serpent is in Cob Park

2011-07-28T16:47:00.000-05:00

Where is Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader?

Tristmegistus

2011-07-28T06:54:00.000-05:00

Mud Lake - As the heat wave continues Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus is at the Mud Lake palace enjoying self-realization, and anxious to return to Fieldville and comforts of Cob Park and its environs. But is is not just a break for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, he is searching for the great heat snake that has wrapped itself around the Free Territories of Fieldville. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile serpent and return Fieldville to the paradise that we all know and love.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile heat serpent

Thanks for your support

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Explains Kinder/Gentler

2011-07-24T10:47:00.000-05:00

Mud Lake - During the recent heat wave Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus and the Council of Proctors took a break from onus of governance and citizen's pleas for mercy succor. While enjoying a much needed rest, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus had a chance to speak with a young citizen about what it means to be Kinder/Gentler. After the discussion, the young citizen, still in awe with speaking to the great man, said that Kinder Gentler had something to do with a velvet glove in an iron gauntlet or maybe it was the other way around.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus talks about gloves

Fieldville's 87th day with Above Normal Temps

2011-07-23T16:28:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - today marks the 87th consecutive day Fieldville has experienced above normal temperatures.

Even the tried and true cooling spots like Swineherd Slough or the many confinement retention ponds seem to hold no amount of refreshment now. Citizens are reminded that the fountain in Cob Park is not open to any sort of water sport except during weekly punishment. Some citizens are whispering that Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's new policy of Kinder/Gentler is affecting the weather.

Current dew point 99 degrees

Thanks for your support

Fieldville Municipal Workers Work Through the Night

2011-07-20T14:09:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Last night, while most citizens were safely asleep in their homes, thanks to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the Council of Proctors, Fieldville municipal workers were toiling through the night to ready Cob Park for Surprise Judgement Daze. Yes that's right, tonight is the compulsory accusation ceremony and token stoning. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated since he is now kinder and gentler, only a resident of the Artists' District will be used for the stoning, not a citizen. Many old-timers from the Cob Cafe have been complaining that is not how it was done in their day. The Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated that he may make an exception to his "Not Stoning a Citizen Rule" in their case.

Workers preparing for Surprise Judgement Daze.

Thanks for your support.

Tom Says He Searches Every Day for His Hot Cuisine

2011-07-19T09:53:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Tom the beloved Fieldville Turkey Vulture said today, "I search everyday for my hot cuisine, if you want the best you need the tenderest."

Tom searches everyday for the tenderest carrion for his hot cuisine

Tom's Hot Cuisine

2011-07-18T15:17:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Tom, Fieldville's beloved Turkey Vulture, has started a new vulture venture: "Tom's Hot Cuisine". Tom says the excessive heat over the last few days has created a carrion surplus. He believes that with a spatula and squeegee any taste of hot cuisine can be accommodated from Fieldville's blacktop roads. So as Tom says, Don't swerve, it's all a tenderizing process."

Don't swerve - tenderize

Fieldville Rejoices

2011-07-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Citizens and residents alike gathered in Cob Park this morning to witness the first ever Fieldville lottery drawing. This week's estimated jackpot was 5,000,000,000 cobs to one lucky winner. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader personally drew the winning numbers. The crowd all checked their tickets and when numbers were compared it was the Dear Beloved Supreme Leader who had the lucky ticket. The crowd erupted in spontaneous applause and joyful praise for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.

Many could not believe Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.

Council of Proctors Enacts Lottery

2011-07-13T18:27:00.001-05:00

The Council of Proctors has enacted the lottery demanded by the Goddess of Luck this morning.

You have to play to win.

Headless Goddess of Luck Speaks

2011-07-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today the Headless Goddess of Luck spoke to a group of citizens in Cob Park. She stated that the Council of Proctors will be compelled to pass Fieldville lottery ordinance. This lottery will solve all the economic problems of the Free Territory of Fieldville. She also said that it will collect more revenue from the Artists' District and the money can be used to help build the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace.

Headless Goddess of Luck orders Council of Proctors to pass lottery ordinance.

Thanks for your support.

Cattown Evil-Doers See the Light

2011-07-12T10:55:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today, there are numerous reports of the evil-doers in Cattown seeing the light of our newly fully self-realized Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus. First reports were from a forested glen just outside of the town, but reports are now coming from all over the infamous village of evil. Fieldville citizens and residents alike can soon expect a wave of non-taxpayers flooding our city using our infrastructure and trashing the morals of our precious children - oh the humanity!

Expect a flood of Cattown evil-doers!

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Self-Realizes

2011-07-10T13:48:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today, in a bombshell dropped by the palace, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself self-realized. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader was quoted as saying, "We are now fully self-realized and will instruct the Council of Proctors to enact laws that are kinder and gentler to the citizens of Fieldville. We have decided to schedule trials and executions separately, when called for."

Word is that the residents of the Artists' District can expect to see their residency permits to become less expensive and only see a doubling of their exorcism taxes to administer the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace that is being built to handle Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's larger more self-realized ego.

Thanks for your support...

Citizen Illegally Turns Front Steps to Gold

2011-07-08T10:48:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - It was discovered today that a citizen has turned his front steps to gold. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds every citizen that alchemy is a "permit only" activity. "If everyone turned their steps to gold the entire cob economy would collapse - we'd be no better than Cattown," the proctor said.

No word yet when the trail and execution will be scheduled.

Thanks for your support.

Council of Proctors See Signs of Pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader

2011-06-26T15:53:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - the Council of Proctors have seen signs of pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader of late.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Receives Strange Correspondence

2011-06-25T20:43:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Received Strange Correspondence. According to the palace, while Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus was gazing at the sky and a letter came fluttering down to the parapet in front of him. Below is that correspondence.

Thanks for your support.

Cob Café Acquires New Coffee Machine

2011-06-24T08:14:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - the Cob Café has acquired a new coffee machine, known as a Java Blaster, the machine will reduce the amount of expensive water used in the preparation Fieldville's citizens morning cup, rendering a thick syrup-like liquid, known as; sciroppo di brutale. Sciroppo di brutale will sell for a few thousand cobs per cup, but it will be worth it.

The Java Blaster is a revolution in coffee making.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

2011-06-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - During the last two weeks Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus has been pacing the Loggia dei Supremo wondering just what Fieldville needs in all of its perfection. Reliving his defeat of the evil-doers in the Satanic Empire of Cattown and foiling of the coup attempt by the former Minister Morality, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus wonders if there is anything yet to do. On his balcony at the palace he has been enjoying his view of Cob Park and hustle and bustle of good moral tax-paying citizens. He has been thinking, "Perfection is sweet."

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville Fire Plugs Now User Friendly

2011-06-01T07:40:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has ordered new "user-friendly" fire hydrants for all of the areas outside of citizens homes. If they prove successful they may appear in such places as the Artists' District. "Since we outsourced fire protection we've had a bit of a problem with contract fire fighters sense of direction - we believe to will alleviate the unfortunate loss of citizen property since our groundbreaking move to outsourcing. Thanks for you support," said the Proctor of Fire and Marching Tunes.

User-Friendly

Justice and Taxes Enforcers Conduct Search of Grimy's House

2011-05-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Justice and Taxes Enforcers conducted a routine search of Fieldville's mascot the beloved Grimy the Groundhog's house. As part of Justice and Taxes new program - STEP Special Tax Enforcer Program, enforcers searched the house of Grimy, the beloved mascot of Fieldville house. After finding several packets of sugar and an obviously homemade patch of high fructose corn syrup, a more thorough search was ordered.

The Proctor of Justice and Taxes was quoted as saying, "Citizens should feel special to be selected as part of the STEP. Evidence can be purchased back from the enforcers before next year's Judgement Daze."

Grimy's house after a routine search using STEP.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Killing Caterpillars is a Capital Offense

2011-05-22T12:07:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The palace today declared killing caterpillars is a capital offense. It is not immediately known why Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus, has made this declaration.

Killing a catapillar can get you killed

Only 6 Days to the Rapture of Allegation Day

2011-05-15T14:53:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - With the tension mounting the Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that they need to vigilant. "Many a citizen's moral hygiene has been spoiled by not watching for signs of contagious corruption by their neighbors. A sure sign is Satanic Dancers in your alley or backyard."

6 days left - watching for signs.

Thanks for support.

Only 9 Days Left, Right?

2011-05-12T10:42:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - With only 9 days left until Judgement Day, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, is looking forward to his role of judge and jury. It is reported that he has caused images to appear in the skies over Fieldville, leaving citizens to wonder if allegations will be made against them - stay tuned.

Citizens are seeing things in the skies over Fieldville

जुद्गेमेंट डे इस कमिंग, दो यू क्नोव वेयर यौर तोवेल इस?

Allegation Day Set in 10 Days

2011-05-11T14:59:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, has finally set the day for Fieldville annual Allegation Day. This year it will be on May 21st and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, promises it will be a day of judgement, recrimination, and moral family fun for all non-incriminated citizens. "We believe the Allegation Day is second only to Righteous Stoning Day in the improvement of the moral hygiene of our citizens," Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus said today.

May 21st will be a day of judgement

Thanks for your support

Fieldville's Marine Biologist Reveals Startling Discovery

2011-05-10T15:41:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Fieldville's Municipal Marine Biologist unveiled a startling find this morning. "I was taking water samples from Cob Pond this morning when I saw something move in there - I mean not just move, but swim," She exclaimed to Street Level. Cob Pond, the Artists' District only water supply has long since been thought biologically sterile and unable to support life.

After this morning's announcement many residents of the Artists' District were seen heading toward Cob Pond with fishing poles.

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville Bank Supports New Austerity Measures

2011-05-06T14:18:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Fieldville Band today showed its solidarity with the Council of Proctors in their austerity measures.

Fieldville Bank respects Council of Proctors' wishes

Thanks for your support

Council of Proctors New Austerity Measures Take Effect Today

2011-05-05T17:15:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors new austerity measures take effect today. In order to comply with the proctors' orders, municipal workers have been ordered to "think out of the box". One clever worker took a page from a local electrician and is now using duct tape on all city maintenance projects.

Duct tape now holds up Fieldville's mighty streetlights.

Street Level will report when they begin using duct tape for street repair.

Thanks for your support.

PROCTOR OF BOOKS INTRODUCES NEW EDITION OF THE WONDER BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE

2011-05-03T14:34:00.001-05:00

Fieldville - The Proctor of Books has issued the newest edition of the Wonder Book of Knowledge. Touted as the compendium of all sanctioned knowledge it will be a must for all citizens' households, this book will indispensable to every moral citizen in Fieldville. This edition will also include useful charms and spells directly from Local #42 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Way. Some of the spells include "Wart B-Gone", and the ever popular "Magic Potato".

Everything you are allowed to know.

Thanks for your support

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Tax Day a Success

2011-05-02T15:04:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared Tax Day a success today.

Tax Day is a success.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Poor People Illegal

2011-04-18T12:15:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - In a bold move Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared poor people illegal in Fieldville. When asked who would rake leaves and keep the country club manicured a spokesperson stated, "The council of proctors has decided they would outsource these important tasks. In this way we can keep Fieldville pure and still have those necessary chores done. The plan is to bus Cattown residents everyday at sunrise and have them out of Fieldville by sundown."

Citizens Laud the council in their progressive thinking on the poverty problem. Today is Tax Day - pay your taxes or you may find you are being bused in from Cattown to rake my leaves.

Poor people are now illegal in Fieldville

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville's New Smokestack

2011-03-28T13:49:00.000-05:00

Filedville - Municipal workers today erected a new smokestack in the Cob Park fountain. Citizens will now be able to stand closer to the fountain during Burn Daze and will be able to hear other citizens' loose talk that can be used against them during Accusation Day.

Municipal workers erect new chimney in the Cob Park fountain.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives State of Fieldville Address

2011-03-25T11:27:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus laid to rest any doubts of citizenry about Fieldville's future.

Citizen are now perfectly at ease.

Thanks for your support - send sewer gas, aqueducts, cisterns, chicken quarters, IT Directors, HR Directors, any administrator of any kind, pool tables, and tweets to @cjswift

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives Cattown An Offer They Can't Refuse!

2011-03-24T09:19:00.002-05:00

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus gave Cattown an offer they couldn't refuse! A package, delivered by special courier, was dropped on the doorstep of Cattown City Hall. Beneath the package was a small note, which read, "you're stirring up the residents of our Artists' District with all your talk of working conditions and paying wages - stop or pay the consequences." The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has said, "Let them eat cake."

An Offer They Can't Refuse!

Thanks for your support - send Asian Carp, aggressive weed control, plastic jon boats, Iron Butterflies, Led Zeppelins, Phish, and tweets to @cjswift

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Announces Fieldville Fun Daze

2011-03-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus has announced the dates for Fieldville Fun Daze. "Our self has decided Fieldville Fun Daze will occur just before Accusation and Open Court Day this year, We believe that moving Fun Daze will actually occasion more accusations than we had last year, and nothing is more fun than that." Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus went on to say, "Residents of Cattown and the Artists' District have been acting like citizens, demanding such things as pay and safe working conditions, those things are reserved for citizens, not mere residents."

Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus is counting on more accusations this year.

Free Bird Spotted Over Moralton

2011-03-22T14:55:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes hasn't incarcerated all resident pigeons, our Moralton correspondent captured this image of a free bird flying over Fieldville's closest ally - Moralton.

Free Bird spotted over Moralton!

Thanks for your support please send: Lynyrd Skynyrd posters, extra "Y"s, squab pie recipes, more guitar strings, Ronnie Van Zant riffs, better inspected Convair CV-240s, bands with less than ten deceased past band members, bands with less than ten deceased current band members, and tweets to @cjswift

Fieldville Incarcerated Resident Pigeons

2011-03-21T16:09:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - No word yet on why resident pigeons have been incarcerated by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes.

Pigeons incarcerated!

Cattown Bows to the Demands of Non-Citizens

2011-03-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

Fieldville - Professional Cattown watchers report strange happenings in the evildoing squalid Cattown. It appears that the, never very affective, perplexing government is bowing to the demands of certain of their non-citizen populace. Concessions to non-citizens now include state-of-the-art safety equipment on their dwelling places, is it any wonder that Cattown is the fetid pool of evil that it is?

State-of-the-art fire escapes added to Cattown non-citizens dwellings

Thanks for your support - send used ladders, folding chairs, ipads/phones/pods, master gardeners, flightless birds, invisible ink, and tweets to @cjswft

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Declares Self Tristmegistus

2011-03-10T16:31:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself Tristmegistus of all the lands north of Cattown and east of Lead Junction. To support the new title the Proctor of Justice and Taxes issued new levy on residents of the Artists' District, "Just the letterhead and signage alone is going to cost a fortune and it's time that the residents of the Artists' District did something worthwhile." φόρους τρεις φορές or thrice taxes will be retroactive to the last Inferno Day.

Reports of Artists' District Residents trying to hide their hovels are rampant.

Artists' District residents try to cloak their hovels against the new Thrice Tax

Interim Minister of Morality Instructs Citizens

2011-03-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Today the interim Minister of Morality instructed citizens to be on their guard when coming in proximity with residents of the Artists' District. "Many residents of the Artists' District have taken to living together in what they refer to as a commune. These communites, while useful for things like sweeping streets and raking leaves, are a danger to the moral hygiene of Fieldville. Citizens should avoid the district unless they have proper papers and a deep understanding of moral hygiene. There are reports of citizens doing what is referred to as "picking up chicks" in the district. This is not allowed under any circumstances."

Citizens should not pick up chicks and avoid communites in the Artists' District!

Biff Reaches the Fourth Sphere

2011-03-08T18:31:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - The Cob Café was all aflutter with the news that Biff has reached the Fourth Sphere. It bodes well for Inferno Day next equinox, and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds all citizens it is also the dawning of the Age of Virgo during the Autumnal equinox and that means double taxes and considerably more justice if they like it or not.

Double taxes and more justice will be available this fall.

Fieldville Lawn Police Warns Citizens

2011-03-07T13:04:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminded citizens that Lawn Police Season starts this weekend. He read a prepared statement from the High Commissioner for Fieldville Beautification who warned citizens of conspicuous and blatant disdain and scorn of our sacred and ancient lovingly held precepts of lawn beauty and moral hygiene. The commissioner said in his statement that Fieldville Lawn Police would be out IN FORCE this weekend with a "No Tolerance" order of enforcement. Loss of citizenship is a real possibility for scofflaws.

Watchtower readied for Lawn Police Season.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader's 57th Dream

2011-03-06T16:35:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has called for the Master of Local 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path to interpret last night's dream. In it he dreamt that the Flattburgh T-Parsers had invaded Fieldville and destroyed citizen's property and ran out all the Fieldville municipal workers. The resulting chaos left Fieldville a virtual ruin. The Brotherhood's Master is warning all citizens against panic, but has asked for increased donations to the Path next inferno day.

Don't let this happen to Fieldville!

Biff at Work on the Fortress of Solitude

2011-03-05T16:21:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Word reached Street Level today that Biff has been hard at work on his Fortress of Solitude. Many in the council believe that Biff has something in mind to stem the tide of unpleasantness from the Flattburgh T-Parsers, but then again none one save Biff knows what goes on at the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff working late into the night on the Fortress of Solitude.

Flattburgh T-Parsers Attack Beloved Fieldville Smoking Trailer

2011-03-03T15:04:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Once again T-Parser thugs have attacked citizen property this time in the form of Fieldville's beloved smoking trailer which parks next to Cob Park. Just as the Council of Proctors ordered children's strollers to be equipped with cup holders and ashtrays, T-Parsers buzz killed it all with their blatant disregard for all that is decent, when will it end?

Cup holders and ashtrays have been added to strollers for greater citizen enjoyment.

Flattburgh T-Parser Thugs Attack Outlying Tenent Farmers

2011-02-27T14:18:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Thugs from Flattburgh were seen near the scene of an unconscionable attack on a citizen's property. Howard Stone, who owns the property, said his property was sacked by T-Parser Thugs late last night, "The trailer I provide for my tenets was severely damaged in the raid, luckily the tenet was not severely damaged and should be able to pay his rent on time."

In a note found nailed to the tenet's arm, the T-Parsers stated this was only the start, "Flatburgh will not put up with extraneous "T"s any longer. Fieldville will cease and desist!" T-Parsers claim they have no recognized leadership and are only following each other around in circles.

Citizen's property severely damaged

Flattburgh Drops a "T" and Violates Probation

2011-02-26T16:29:00.000-06:00

Flattburgh - The Emergency Provisional Citizens Bureau of Flattburgh voted today to drop one of the "T" in its name, no word yet just which one was dropped. The EPCB of Flattburgh, in a prepared statement said, "Citizens of Flatburgh are sick and tired of adding an extra "T" every time they write and say the name of our great city, henceforth, citizens will only use one "T"." There are rumors that citizens of the town formally known as Flattburgh have taken to writing the name of Fieldville as Fieldvile.

The Proctor of Treaties and Provisions indicated that probation agreed upon between Fieldville and Flattburgh clearly had two "T"s. Any adjustments would have to be agreed to by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the entire Council of Proctors.

Flattburgh's Citizen Assembly Hall shows clear violation of their treaty with Fieldville

Uppity Artists' District Residents Open Shop

2011-02-25T19:37:00.001-06:00

Fieldville - Citizens are aghast at the audacity of certain denizens of the Artists' District, who set up a shop of sort without applying for full citizenship. This morning many citizens at the Cob Café said so, in so many words, while opining over all the import topics current...

What next from the Artists' District?

Biff Enhances His Fortress of Solitude

2011-02-24T14:56:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Citizens and the denizens of the Artists' District noticed today that Biff has been enhancing his Fortress of Solitude. The Council of Proctors is in the process of issuing an ale license to Biff.

Proctors issuing an ale license to Biff.

Biff Ponders the Thaumaturgical Mean from the Fortress of Solitude

2011-02-23T15:41:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Even the very moieties themselves will tremble when Biff contemplates the Thaumaturgical Mean. New Uber Biff is hard at work contemplating the mysteries that make Fieldville great and Cattown a den of poxy evildoers - with these matters on his mind we not see him until Sun Daze when all citizens light a tire in the Cob Park fountain bringing the spring back to Fieldville.

Uber Biff Ponders from the Fortress of Solitude

Biff's Fortress of Solitude

2011-02-22T17:28:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - This day will be a day that will echo down all known history of Fieldville as the day when Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader bestowed upon Biff the title of The Über Vollstecker Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker. Biff retired to his so-called Fortress of Solitude to meditate on his new duties.

Biff retires to his Fortress of Solitude to ponder his new title of The Über Vollstecker Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker

Thanks for your support

Biff Emcees THE BIG SALE

2011-02-21T16:09:00.000-06:00

Cob Park - Today Biff emceed THE BIG SALE, to the delight of citizens and residents alike. Biff, known throughout the Free Territories of Fieldville for his wit, charm, and general bon viveur, stole the show as he liquidated all the useless assets and decorations from the government buildings of Fieldville. Citizens purchased everything available and promptly donated them back the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. Biff smiled and waved to the crowd, as he jumped into the Biff-mobile, and raced off to his special place that he calls the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff - seen here adjusting the mighty Cob Park PA system.

Biff to be Featured at This Week's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!!!!

2011-02-20T13:59:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Biff is making a mad dash from Puerto de Mud Lake to be the Emcee at tomorrow's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE. His spokesman told Street Level today, he wouldn't miss it and might even consider buying some of the windows and doors from the palace and reinstalling them as a gesture of good will toward Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. The spokesman went on to say that ALL citizens ~~BETTER~~ should consider donating part ~~ALL~~ of their purchases to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. He reminded everyone that the Minister of Morality will be monitoring ~~ALL CITIZENS~~ the event.

Biff asks all citizens, and even the residents of the Artists' District, to bring baskets of cob notes, because they'll be sorry if ~~THEY DON'T~~ they miss anything!

Biff to Emcee the ~~MANDATORY~~ BIG SALE

War Horses Only Regular Cattown Satanic Beasts

2011-02-19T12:21:00.001-06:00

Fieldville - A closer inspection of yesterday's photo turned out to be just regular Cattown Satanic Beasts. The Council of Proctors issues a sigh of relief. The big sale is still on!

No problem just Cattown Satanic Beasts, whew.

What is Cattown Up To Now!

2011-02-18T16:36:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - Just as citizens get ready for the Fieldville EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!! there are rumors that the evildoers of Cattown are up to no good. A quick witted citizen snapped this picture this morning of a huge herd of horses massing on the steep slopes near Cattown. Does anyone think they are other than WAR HORSES?

What are the evildoers of Cattown up to?

Proctors Amass Assets

2011-02-17T13:41:00.000-06:00

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors today began amassing Fieldville assets for the big 50% off sale to be held in Cob Park next week. The Big 50% OFF EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE is expected net enough sales to fund the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader for almost a month. "Citizens have said they don't want the cost of citizenship to go up, and we've heard them," said the Proctor of Finance and Magic. "Everything must go as we fund only the essential portions of the Free Territories of Fieldville, such as the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader."

Everything must go