Found on the beach in Puerto de Mud Lake

Proctors baffled at the find!

Our Dear Supreme Leader Orders a New Portrait

Puerto de Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has ordered a new portrait.  The Proctor of Art and Regulation is rumored to have had a meeting with Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader,  in which he stated that not only did he want his face on all cob notes, but also in the hearts of all citizens.  The Minister of Science and Regulation is reportedly working on a way to inject the portrait directly in the heart of the citizenry.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - MMXI

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Fieldville's Minister of Morality Urges Shunning

Fieldville - The Minister of Morality today urged citizens to shun neighbors who openly practice tree bondage.  "It has come to our attention that certain of the citizenry have been openly practicing tree bondage," the plucky minister said.  "This kind of thing happens in the Artists' District all the time, but it is not going to be tolerated of decent tax-paying citizens."

Tree bondage will not be tolerated!

Thanks for your support - send snow blowers, pruning saws, chains, fish stix, Twinkies, beaches, surf, palm trees, flip flops, and tweets to @cjswift

Grimy Sees Shadow!!!!

Fieldville - This morning Grimy crawled out of the storm drain and saw his shadow.  The head of Local # 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Way read the augury and pronounced six more months of Winter.

Six more months of Winter - gee, thanks Grimy!

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Ponders YOUR Future

Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has been pondering the future of Fieldville's citizens and residents alike.  What that may mean when he returns to Fieldville, only time will tell.

Listen to the bird - it may be your last chance.

Biff Uses Newest Technology for Our Dear Supreme Leader's Protection

Mud Lake - Biff has chosen his vehicle to protect Our Dear Supreme Leader while he ponders our future.  Biff's new "ride" comes complete with a radio and a gas gauge.  In a crowd at Mud Lake Biff's ride is almost invisible, here in Mud Lake.

Biff's New Ride!

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Arrives at Puerto de Mud Lake

South Fieldville - Early today our Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader arrived in Puerto de Mud lake to deliver an address to the Universidad de Mud Lake on "the Unlikelihood of Life Beyond the Borders of the Free Territories of Fieldville - (except for the pesky stray aliens and such)".  His address was met with a 10 minute standing ovation.

Puerto de Mud Lake

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Heads to Mud Lake

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has announced that he is heading to the Palace at South Fieldville for much needed rest on the shores of Mud Lake.  Street Level will be accompanying his entourage aboard Mag-lev One, as it speeds him to his destination.  Street Level will be posting from South Fieldville before and after the bars close.

Mud Lake Awaits

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Robert Morlock Calls for the Clean-up of the Artists' District

Fieldville - Fieldville's newest and richest citizen called today for clean-up of the Artists' District. "I can't understand how a place like Fieldville tolerates lazy non-citizens without even enough cobs between them to buy a single citizenship. Next thing you know the Council of Proctors will be giving them tax money instead of using it on enforcement like they should," said Fieldville's richest citizen.

The palace was not available for comment.

Time to clean-up the Artists' District!

Who is Robert Morlock?

Fieldville - Citizens are asking today, "just who is Robert Morlock?"  After appearing on the scene yesterday, and buying a a full citizenship and a news agency, citizens are wondering where Robert Morlock came from.  Well, in his own words he comes from down under.  Patrons of the cob cafe are perplexed just what this means.  None of the citizens interviewed knew anything about a city underneath Fieldville before this odd claim by Mr. Morlock. 

Just what does he mean by down under?

Fieldville's Newest Citizen Starts News Agency

Fieldville - Robert Morlock Fieldville's richest and newest citizen, announced today that he was starting a news agency in conjuction with Porchboy™ Enterpises Inc. 

Grimy News will report on those residents of the Artists' District who aim to destroy our way of life.

Robert Morlock Fieldville's richest and newest citizen!

ALIENS FOUND CRAWLING FROM FIELDVILLE SIDEWALKS!!!

FIELDVILLE - ALIENS WERE FOUND TODAY CRAWLING FROM THE CRACKS OF FIELDVILLE SIDEWALKS.  OUR DEAR BELOVED SUPREME LEADER INSTALLS FIELDVILLE'S FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE!!!  DON'T PANIC!!!!!!!!

ALIENS ARE EVERYWHERE!

OUR DEAR BELOVED SUPREME LEADER INSTALLS FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE!

Aliens Bring Bird Flu, Escherichia coli O157:H7, Climate Change, Fog, Head Lice, Dot Matrix Printers, and Health Care to Fieldville

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors revealed today that aliens have, among other things, brought bird flu, Escherichia coli O157:H7, climate change, fog, head lice, dot matrix printers, and health care to Fieldville.  The Council of Proctors is planning a special "Alien Tax", which will include levies on extraterrestrial vehicles, xeno-pathogens, and disturbing the peace by looking scary.

Council of Proctors tackle the illegal alien problem.

Proctor of Justice and Taxes Solves Happy Feet Murder

Fieldville - Today the Proctor of Justice and Taxes solved the Murder of our dear beloved Happy Feet.  In a prepared statement he said that the murder was perpetrated by members of the Spray Gang of the Artists' District.  "We have had the Sprays spayed and they are now working at the Fieldville Tire Station Fire and will be singing alto in this years Cob Daze," he added.

Artists' District Gang blamed for brutal murder!

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Proctor of Justice and Taxes Looks Into the Death of "Happy Feet"

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes said today that he would personally look into the death of the so-call "Happy Feet".  "The brutality of Happy Feet's death leads me to believe this crime was perpetrated by someone from Cattown or maybe the Artists' District," he was quoted as saying today.

Happy Feet's brutal death

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Citizens Warned not to throw Garbage in Local Hellmouths

Fieldville - It come to the attention of the Council of Proctors that citizens or residents of their homes have been throwing garbage in the Hellholes that open this time of year in Fieldville.  As we have been informed by Local #42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path, the proper name for the holes in citizens' lawns that open this time of year is "Hellmouths".
Garbage can lead to unexpected consequences and should be avoided...

Do not throw garbage in Hellmouths!

Local 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path Issues Predictions

Fieldville - The Thaumaturge of Local 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thamaturgic Path issue his official predictions for the new year.

The Year of the Flaming Dry Cob

  1)  Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader will become even more beloved

  2)  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes will be named Minister of Morality

  3)  The cost for buying citizenship will only increase 30,300 cobs

  4)  The Council of Proctors will issue new guidelines for citizen hair length

  5)  During a February Snowfall municipal workers will outsource snow removal

  6)  Head Lice al dente will finally be recognized as the tasty dish it is

  7)  Fieldville High School teachers will be outsourced

  8)  Justice and Taxes enforcers will get a new tardis

  9)  Grimy will see his shadow and we have 6 more weeks of weather

10)  The Aliens will finally reveal themselves

Aliens will finally reveal themselves!

Artists' District to Get Its Own Bus

Fieldville - In an almost maniacal burst of spending before the end of the year, the Council of Proctors agreed to buy a bus for the Artists' District.

A New Bus for the Artists' District

Fieldville's Children Pull End O' Year Pranks

Fieldville - In what has become a tradition in Fieldville, the children of Fieldville took up their spray cans and decorated one of the cars of the Fieldville/Iowa City Railways.

Fieldville Youth Have a Lot to Answer For Today

Fieldville - In what has been described as a "Morality Riot" by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes, Fieldville teenagers trashed the balcony of the Cob Theater last night.  Shortly before curfew, the concession stand ran out of Grimy Pop Classic™ and started substituting it with Sugar-Free Grimy Pop™, and then as witnesses have recounted, "It was like Saturday night in the Artists' District."  No word yet on what punishment Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader will visit upon Fieldville's teenagers.

The aftermath of Grimy Pop Classic™ abuse.

When Cats Go Bad

Fieldville - Fieldville's pigeon population is furious about yet something else this week.  As you may recall earlier they were complaining about all the dirty humans that were infesting the ground around Cob Park, now they're complaining about cats.  As you know Fieldville's cats all live in the Artists' District as it is not considered patriotic for a citizen to harbor a cat in his residence after the unfortunate and unprovoked war with Cattown.

Fieldville pigeon are complaining about Artists' District cats.

Biff at the Edge of the Earth

Biff is at the edge of the earth assuring all citizens that the sun is no longer disappearing.

Biff Saving Fieldville

Fieldville City Workers Remove Cob Avenue

Fieldville - City crews today removed Cob Avenue so that Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader have put in what he describes as a "Ped Mall".  Our forward thinking Dear Beloved Supreme Leader says that if citizens are going to continue to complain about parking he has a solution: TAKE AWAY ALL THE PARKING.  He has suggested that this is the last he wants to hear about parking - PERIOD, or else the entire square will be turned into a ped mall.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's "Parking Solution"

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Citizens Do Not Confront Large Flightless Birds!

Fieldville - Citizens are being warned against confronting the large sun-stealing flightless bird which has been plying the streets of Fieldville. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that Biff is a professional.

Citizens do not try this at home

Fieldville Pigeons are Sick of Dirty People.

Fieldville - Pigeons living around Cob Park are sick to death of all the dirty humans infesting the ground around the park. More and more pigeon parents are using humans as anti role models to instruct their fledglings. "Humans walk on the ground, do you have any idea what's on the ground?" one pigeon father was heard to say. If weren't for the garbage dumpsters and great roosting, many pigeons have expressed their desire to move to Cattown, except for its unfortunate name.

Fieldville pigeons are sick to death of dirty humans

Check Your Backdoor for Flightless Birds

Fieldville - The palace issued a statement regarding reports of a flightless bird in Fieldville. "Reports of a large flightless bird within the free territories of Fieldville are completely unfounded.  The Council of Proctors believe that the superstition of a large flightless bird carrying away the sun originated in the so-called Artists' District.  Citizens should feel safe in their homes as long as they have paid their taxes and complied with all emergency procedures issued by the Council. The Council of Proctors wishes to remind all citizens that Biff has been found and all is well.

Reports of large flightless birds are totally unfounded.

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Biff Found in the Frozen North

Suburbandale - Biff was found today fighting off the giant flightless bird that takes the sun away every year at this time.  Biff defeat him and then come back and save us from Grimy's Claws!

Biff fighting off the Sun Stealer

Citizens Hurry to Decorate Their Yule-Tide Torso Tribute

☠WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS☠ ☠GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF WICKER☠

☠TORSOS AND REFERENCES TO CLAWS☠

Fieldville - Citizens are hurrying to have their Yule-tide Torsos up and decorated by sundown today.  As has been known for generations of Fieldvillians, a Torso Tribute at Yule-Tide will fend off not only the lost of the sun, but also is an effective ward against Grimy's Claws.  As citizen pack the East Side Strip Mall looking for Torso Decorations, the Council of Proctors are meeting to discuss this years tire-burning in the Cob Park Fountain.

Citizens ready their Yule-Tide Torso Tributes to ward off Grimy's Claws.

Thanks for your support.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader Tracks Grimy Claws Progress

Fieldville, The Palace - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has been personally tracking Grimy Claws as he makes his way from the North Pole near Suburbandale to the skies above Fieldville.  As the sun disappears this year no one has heard from Biff since his encounter with the Evil Monster Zombie Thingie.  Barring a miracle, Fieldville will be defenceless against Grimy Claws.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes assures citizens, current on their tax payments, they will be safe if they follow all emergency edicts and compulsory behaviors.

Grimy Claws is Getting Closer.

Tusk Being Readied for This Years Snow

Fieldville - Municipal workers today began to ready "Tusk", Fieldville's mighty snow removal machine, for the scheduled weekend snow storm.  The massive machine will ply the streets of Fieldville and push the snow into the Artists' District where it will melt into sooty slush that will linger well into the spring.

Tusk being readied for snow.

Grimy Claws is Coming to Town

Fieldville Children Begin to See Grimy in the Sky

Fieldville - as the solstice approaches children of citizens have begun to see Grimy in the skies over Fieldville.  Last night a citizen caught evidence of Grimy over Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Path. The Proctor of Rules and Procedures wants to remind citizen parents to curb their enthusiasm when it comes to working their children into a lather about the upcoming Grimy visit.

Grimy over Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Path

Proctor of Rules and Procedures Warns Citizen Parents

Fieldville - The Proctor of Rules and Procedures warned parents today that jocular discussions with their children regarding a citizen's duty to pay taxes is monitored and will not be tolerated.  The card below was intercepted at the Fieldville Post Office and the parents are currently at a retraining facility near the Fieldville Tire Station Fire.  Don't let this happen to you.

Watch what you say.

Giant Snails Continue to Slime Fieldville's Railroads

Breaking ---

Suburbandale Reports Tax Scofflaws

Suburbandale - Officials here report the spread of invisibility to the world famous Meat Cattle Show. The spell for invisibility was published on  quickyleaks infernets site.  The perfidious member of Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of Thaumaturgy Path who leaked the spell has not been identified and it is believe that he is somewhere in the Artists' District in hiding.

The invisibility spell has spread to the world-famous Suburbandale Meat Cattle Show

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A Deeper Look Into the So Called Ghost Phenomenon

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has been looking deeper into the so called ghost phenomenon, and the Proctor of Justice and Taxes is warning of a severe crack down on the so called ghosters. The proctor stated, "Apparently a rouge member of Local #34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgy Path (BTP34) sold an invisibility spell to some perfidious citizens who believe that being invisible exempts them from taxes.  Nothing could be further from the truth. visible or not citizens and residents of the Artists' District are taxed fairly under the emergency rules of the Council of Proctors."

Citizens flaunting their taxation duties.

Further evidence of tax evasion.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Objects to Ghost Performers

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has issued a statement through the Proctor of Forms and Public Information, objecting to the recent use of ghost performers at the Cob Cafe during their Open Mic Night.  According to the proctor, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader believes that ghost performers send the wrong message to Fieldville's youth, and leads to youth visiting the Artists' District.

Ghost Performers endanger Fieldville's youth!

Thanks for your support.

Beyond the Edge of the World

Fieldville - Former Fieldville citizens Ken and Hattie Kanton have returned from beyond the edge of the world.  Gone for years, the couple returned unexpectedly to Cob Park this morning.  In the words of one citizen, "they were all scruffy like and had a funny kind of accent, but you could see that it was them, sort of."  Street Level is expecting an interview later today, if we can make sense out of their heavily accented foreign speech.

Ken and Hattie Kanton with "Sam", as seen at the Cob Park Community Center this morning.

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The Proctor of Historic Rehabilitation and Razing's Personal Residence Will be used as a Morality Play

Fieldville - The Proctor of Historic Rehabilitation and Razing is contemplating his own historic residence as the central theme in a new morality play.  It has long been rumored that the proctor invested heavily in high fructose derivative bonds and has suffered a bit of a set back in his own fortunes.  He has commissioned Street Level, with the permission of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, the Council of Proctors, and the Interim Ministry of Morality to develop a short story that will help the youth of Fieldville understand the importance of citizenship and good moral hygiene during the upcoming "Loss of the Sun Ceremonies".  It is sure to be a blockbuster this season since, it will be required reading for every citizen.  More, as it becomes available.

The proctor's residence will be used as a backdrop for a morality play 

Citizens - Curfew Your Children

Fieldville - The interim Minister of Morality issued a statement today concerning children of citizens, "Now is the time to panic, curfew your children.  We have learned that the deadly hovering Cattown Fruit has been spotted hovering over Crick Creek. We all remember what happened the last time Cattown Fruit found its way into Fieldville."

We all remember the scenes of children citizens flaunting morality by openly walking in the Artists' District, and listening to morally inappropriate Artists' District music like the demonic "Let's Lay Down Our Sticks and Stones and Make Peace with Cattown".  Some citizen children took to calling Cattown Fruit "Electric Banana".

So called Electric Bananas seen hovering over Crick Creek!!!

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Citizens Line Up for the New Big Cob

Fieldville - This morning citizens began lining up to be one of the first to taste the new Big Cob at Cobburger.  Described as an all meat pattie it is sure to be a hit.  But wait, it doesn't stop there, for just a few more Fieldville Cobs you get a quart of Grimy Pop Classic™ and a slab of fried Cattown potatoes served in a Styrofoam box with a cartoon picture of Grimy on the outside, does it get any better than that?

Citizens line up to experience the new Big Cob at Cobburger

Work Moves Ahead to Move Old Fieldville

Fieldville - Work started today to move Old Fieldville to the dump near Cattown.  "We are pleased to begin work on this important project so quickly.  The fine weather is an omen that shows this project is blessed and righteous," the Proctor of Raising and Razing stated this morning.

Work began today on moving Old Fieldville to the dump.

Fieldville Jail to be moved next construction season

Fieldville - Today the Proctor of Justice and Taxes announced the replacement of the current Fieldville Prison Complex. "We plan to move the complex to the newly available seized land that has been dubbed Old Fieldville by some," the proctor stated in his weekly report, "The State of Fieldville".  The Proctor of Preservation and Demolition was quick to add that Old Fieldville would be carefully moved to the site that is currently known as the Fieldville Dump, just outside of Cattown.

Fieldville Prison Complex to be moved to the so called Old Fieldville site.

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The Palace Couldn't be Reached Today

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Justice and Taxes Enforcers Now Armed

Fieldville - the Proctor of Justice and Taxes has issued side arms to all tax enforcers, to assure fair and balanced justice.  In addition, the proctor has set up a ticket booth at the entrance of Old Fieldville, to recapture the cost of raking the leaves and the proctors' time making policies concerning the myth of demockrazy in the old city.

Justice and Taxes Enforcers will now better serve you with side arms.

Wherein I Discover Wonderful Things

Dear patient reader, know that I was drawn to see the sights of Old Fieldville's ancient stones, and all the stories they could reveal.  I took it upon myself to walk there, and found no one with a similar disposition on this sunny day.  I had heard the stories where the citizens of this mysterious citadel practiced the odd and troubling act of demockrazy in the open and amongst their neighbors.  My dear reader, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.  I apprehended a ruined tower among the ruined stones, and proceeded to the same, with all haste.  Know that climbing it was an arduous process, and not without its own adventure, but truly what I found at the top was beyond all comprehension.

As a ascended to the last level, I beheld an empty socket of a window, and what I peered from it astonished me.  What I saw was not our dear beloved Fieldville, but instead a madman's monkey puzzle of towers and roads that scarcely could be given credence. The golden dominance of this false Fieldville captured my eye, and for awhile I could not tear away my gaze.  I believe that only Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader can grasp the significance of what I saw, I pray that he will elucidate its meaning for the likes of us.

Only Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader in his wisdom can explain this.

Palace Breaks Silence

Fieldville - The palace has issued an official policy statement regarding the discovery of the so called Old Fieldville. In the words of the Proctor of Science and Parades, "The so called discovery of the so called Old Fieldville is welcomed by the Council of Proctors and indeed by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader himself.  We believe that thoughtful citizens will realize that so called demockrazy that was practiced in Old Fieldville is nothing but propaganda spread from the evil-doers of Cattown.  Everyone knows that Cattowners vote and have no permanent government, but instead hold periodic festivals where they select the government from ordinary citizens.

Palace debunks demockrazy rumors about Old Fieldville.