Fieldville's New Smokestack

Filedville - Municipal workers today erected a new smokestack in the Cob Park fountain.  Citizens will now be able to stand closer to the fountain during Burn Daze and will be able to hear other citizens' loose talk that can be used against them during Accusation Day.

Municipal workers erect new chimney in the Cob Park fountain.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives State of Fieldville Address

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus laid to rest any doubts of citizenry about Fieldville's future.

Citizen are now perfectly at ease.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives Cattown An Offer They Can't Refuse!

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus gave Cattown an offer they couldn't refuse!  A package, delivered by special courier, was dropped on the doorstep of Cattown City Hall. Beneath the package was a small note, which read, "you're stirring up the residents of our Artists' District with all your talk of working conditions and paying wages - stop or pay the consequences." The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has said, "Let them eat cake."

An Offer They Can't Refuse!

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Announces Fieldville Fun Daze

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus has announced the dates for Fieldville Fun Daze. "Our self has decided Fieldville Fun Daze will occur just before Accusation and Open Court Day this year,  We believe that moving Fun Daze will actually occasion more accusations than we had last year, and nothing is more fun than that." Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus went on to say, "Residents of Cattown and the Artists' District have been acting like citizens, demanding such things as pay and safe working conditions, those things are reserved for citizens, not mere residents."

Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus is counting on more accusations this year.

Free Bird Spotted Over Moralton

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes hasn't incarcerated all resident pigeons, our Moralton correspondent captured this image of a free bird flying over Fieldville's closest ally - Moralton.

Free Bird spotted over Moralton!

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Fieldville Incarcerated Resident Pigeons

Fieldville - No word yet on why resident pigeons have been incarcerated by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes.

Pigeons incarcerated!

Cattown Bows to the Demands of Non-Citizens

Fieldville - Professional Cattown watchers report strange happenings in the evildoing squalid Cattown.  It appears that the, never very affective, perplexing government is bowing to the demands of certain of their non-citizen populace.  Concessions to non-citizens now include state-of-the-art safety equipment on their dwelling places, is it any wonder that Cattown is the fetid pool of evil that it is?

State-of-the-art fire escapes added to Cattown non-citizens dwellings

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Declares Self Tristmegistus

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself Tristmegistus of all the lands north of Cattown and east of Lead Junction.  To support the new title the Proctor of Justice and Taxes issued new levy on residents of the Artists' District, "Just the letterhead and signage alone is going to cost a fortune and it's time that the residents of the Artists' District did something worthwhile."  φόρους τρεις φορές or thrice taxes will be retroactive to the last Inferno Day.

Reports of Artists' District Residents trying to hide their hovels are rampant.

Artists' District residents try to cloak their hovels against the new Thrice Tax

Interim Minister of Morality Instructs Citizens

Fieldville - Today the interim Minister of Morality instructed citizens to be on their guard when coming in proximity with residents of the Artists' District. "Many residents of the Artists' District have taken to living together in what they refer to as a commune.  These communites, while useful for things like sweeping streets and raking leaves, are a danger to the moral hygiene of Fieldville.  Citizens should avoid the district unless they have proper papers and a deep understanding of moral hygiene.  There are reports of citizens doing what is referred to as "picking up chicks" in the district.  This is not allowed under any circumstances."

Citizens should not pick up chicks and avoid communites in the Artists' District!

Biff Reaches the Fourth Sphere

Fieldville - The Cob Café was all aflutter with the news that Biff has reached the Fourth Sphere.  It bodes well for Inferno Day next equinox, and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds all citizens it is also the dawning of the Age of Virgo during the Autumnal equinox and that means double taxes and considerably more justice if they like it or not.

Double taxes and more justice will be available this fall.

Fieldville Lawn Police Warns Citizens

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminded citizens that Lawn Police Season starts this weekend.  He read a prepared statement from the High Commissioner for Fieldville Beautification who warned citizens of conspicuous and blatant disdain and scorn of our sacred and ancient lovingly held precepts of lawn beauty and moral hygiene.  The commissioner said in his statement that Fieldville Lawn Police would be out IN FORCE this weekend with a "No Tolerance" order of enforcement.  Loss of citizenship is a real possibility for scofflaws.

Watchtower readied for Lawn Police Season.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader's 57th Dream

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has called for the Master of Local 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path to interpret last night's dream.  In it he dreamt that the Flattburgh T-Parsers had invaded Fieldville and destroyed citizen's property and ran out all the Fieldville municipal workers.  The resulting chaos left Fieldville a virtual ruin.  The Brotherhood's Master is warning all citizens against panic, but has asked for increased donations to the Path next inferno day.

Don't let this happen to Fieldville!

Biff at Work on the Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Word reached Street Level today that Biff has been hard at work on his Fortress of Solitude.  Many in the council believe that Biff has something in mind to stem the tide of unpleasantness from the Flattburgh T-Parsers, but then again none one save Biff knows what goes on at the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff working late into the night on the Fortress of Solitude.

Flattburgh T-Parsers Attack Beloved Fieldville Smoking Trailer

Fieldville - Once again T-Parser thugs have attacked citizen property this time in the form of Fieldville's beloved smoking trailer which parks next to Cob Park.  Just as the Council of Proctors ordered children's strollers to be equipped with cup holders and ashtrays, T-Parsers buzz killed it all with their blatant disregard for all that is decent, when will it end?

Cup holders and ashtrays have been added to strollers for greater citizen enjoyment.

Flattburgh T-Parser Thugs Attack Outlying Tenent Farmers

Fieldville - Thugs from Flattburgh were seen near the scene of an unconscionable attack on a citizen's property.  Howard Stone, who owns the property, said his property was sacked by T-Parser Thugs late last night, "The trailer I provide for my tenets was severely damaged in the raid, luckily the tenet was not severely damaged and should be able to pay his rent on time."

In a note found nailed to the tenet's arm, the T-Parsers stated this was only the start, "Flatburgh will not put up with extraneous "T"s any longer.  Fieldville will cease and desist!" T-Parsers claim they have no recognized leadership and are only following each other around in circles.

Citizen's property severely damaged

Flattburgh Drops a "T" and Violates Probation

Flattburgh - The Emergency Provisional Citizens Bureau of Flattburgh voted today to drop one of the "T" in its name, no word yet just which one was dropped.  The EPCB of Flattburgh, in a prepared statement said, "Citizens of Flatburgh are sick and tired of adding an extra "T" every time they write and say the name of our great city, henceforth, citizens will only use one "T"."  There are rumors that citizens of the town formally known as Flattburgh have taken to writing the name of Fieldville as Fieldvile.

The Proctor of Treaties and Provisions indicated that probation agreed upon between Fieldville and Flattburgh clearly had two "T"s.  Any adjustments would have to be agreed to by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the entire Council of Proctors.

Flattburgh's Citizen Assembly Hall shows clear violation of their treaty with Fieldville

Uppity Artists' District Residents Open Shop

Fieldville - Citizens are aghast at the audacity of certain denizens of the Artists' District, who set up a shop of sort without applying for full citizenship.  This morning many citizens at the Cob Café said so, in so many words, while opining over all the import topics current...

What next from the Artists' District?

Biff Enhances His Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Citizens and the denizens of the Artists' District noticed today that Biff has been enhancing his Fortress of Solitude.  The Council of Proctors is in the process of issuing an ale license to Biff.

Proctors issuing an ale license to Biff.

Biff Ponders the Thaumaturgical Mean from the Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Even the very moieties themselves will tremble when Biff contemplates the Thaumaturgical Mean. New Uber Biff is hard at work contemplating the mysteries that make Fieldville great and Cattown a den of poxy evildoers - with these matters on his mind we not see him until Sun Daze when all citizens light a tire in the Cob Park fountain bringing the spring back to Fieldville.

Uber Biff Ponders from the Fortress of Solitude

Biff's Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - This day will be a day that will echo down all known history of Fieldville as the day when Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader bestowed upon Biff the title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker.  Biff retired to his so-called Fortress of Solitude to meditate on his new duties.

Biff retires to his Fortress of Solitude to ponder his new title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker

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