Above, you see that the "Devil Plague", also known as, Missouri Blight", has spread from the square to outlying farms. It is believed that it was carried on the shoes of people attending the Farmers' Market. The CDC reminds everyone that good foot hygiene is the only way to stop this scourge. It is believed that the plague was brought to Iowa from rest-stops or fireworks stands along Missouri highways.The demons are attracted by levers and switches. Rural residents are urged to remove the keys from heavy equipment and snowmobiles. If you see a flock of demons simply swat then with a newspaper and chase them into a neighbor's yard.
Important Reminder:
There are only 2 days left to prepare for Celebrate Your Senses. Officials urge you to take your change to the bank and convert it to ready cash for the raffle, art, and food.
Thank you for your support - send sea shanties, Zebra Mussels, or muscles from Zebras, raw Jell-o components, Devil-B-Gone, tax deductions, and tweets to @cjswift
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