Friday, June 24, 2011

Cob Café Acquires New Coffee Machine

Fieldville - the Cob Café  has acquired a new coffee machine, known as a Java Blaster, the machine will reduce the amount of expensive water used in the preparation Fieldville's citizens morning cup, rendering a thick syrup-like liquid, known as; sciroppo di brutale.  Sciroppo di brutale will sell for a few thousand cobs per cup, but it will be worth it.
The Java Blaster is a revolution in coffee making.
Thanks for your support.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville - During the last two weeks Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus has been pacing the Loggia dei Supremo wondering just what Fieldville needs in all of its perfection.  Reliving his defeat of the evil-doers in the Satanic Empire of Cattown and foiling of the coup attempt by the former Minister Morality, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus wonders if there is anything yet to do.  On his balcony at the palace he has been enjoying his view of Cob Park and hustle and bustle of good moral tax-paying citizens.  He has been thinking, "Perfection is sweet."

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Fieldville Fire Plugs Now User Friendly

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has ordered new "user-friendly" fire hydrants for all of the areas outside of citizens homes.  If they prove successful they may appear in such places as the Artists' District.  "Since we outsourced fire protection we've had a bit of a problem with contract fire fighters sense of direction - we believe to will alleviate the unfortunate loss of citizen property since our groundbreaking move to outsourcing. Thanks for you support," said the Proctor of Fire and Marching Tunes.

User-Friendly

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Justice and Taxes Enforcers Conduct Search of Grimy's House

Fieldville - Justice and Taxes Enforcers conducted a routine search of Fieldville's mascot the beloved Grimy the Groundhog's house.  As part of Justice and Taxes new program - STEP Special Tax Enforcer Program, enforcers searched the house of Grimy, the beloved mascot of Fieldville house.  After finding several packets of sugar and an obviously homemade patch of high fructose corn syrup, a more thorough search was ordered.

The Proctor of Justice and Taxes was quoted as saying, "Citizens should feel special to be selected as part of the STEP.  Evidence can be purchased back from the enforcers before next year's Judgement Daze."
Grimy's house after a routine search using STEP.
Thanks for your support.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Killing Caterpillars is a Capital Offense

Fieldville - The palace today declared killing caterpillars is a capital offense. It is not immediately known why Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus, has made this declaration.
Killing a catapillar can get you killed

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Only 6 Days to the Rapture of Allegation Day

Fieldville - With the tension mounting the Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that they need to vigilant. "Many a citizen's moral hygiene has been spoiled by not watching for signs of contagious corruption by their neighbors. A sure sign is Satanic Dancers in your alley or backyard."

6 days left - watching for signs.
Thanks for support.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Only 9 Days Left, Right?

Fieldville - With only 9 days left until Judgement Day, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, is looking forward to his role of judge and jury.  It is reported that he has caused images to appear in the skies over Fieldville, leaving citizens to wonder if allegations will be made against them - stay tuned.
Citizens are seeing things in the skies over Fieldville

जुद्गेमेंट डे इस कमिंग, दो यू क्नोव वेयर यौर तोवेल इस?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Allegation Day Set in 10 Days

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, has finally set the day for Fieldville annual Allegation Day.  This year it will be on May 21st and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, promises it will be a day of judgement, recrimination, and moral family fun for all non-incriminated citizens.  "We believe the Allegation Day is second only to Righteous Stoning Day in the improvement of the moral hygiene of our citizens," Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus said today.
May 21st will be a day of judgement
Thanks for your support

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fieldville's Marine Biologist Reveals Startling Discovery

Fieldville - Fieldville's Municipal Marine Biologist unveiled a startling find this morning.  "I was taking water samples from Cob Pond this morning when I saw something move in there - I mean not just move, but swim," She exclaimed to Street Level.  Cob Pond, the Artists' District only water supply has long since been thought biologically sterile and unable to support life.

After this morning's announcement many residents of the Artists' District were seen heading toward Cob Pond with fishing poles.
Thanks for your support.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Fieldville Bank Supports New Austerity Measures

Fieldville - Fieldville Band today showed its solidarity with the Council of Proctors in their austerity measures.

Fieldville Bank respects Council of Proctors' wishes
Thanks for your support

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Council of Proctors New Austerity Measures Take Effect Today

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors new austerity measures take effect today. In order to comply with the proctors' orders, municipal workers have been ordered to "think out of the box".  One clever worker took a page from a local electrician and is now using duct tape on all city maintenance projects.

Duct tape now holds up Fieldville's mighty streetlights.
Street Level will report when they begin using duct tape for street repair.
Thanks for your support.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

PROCTOR OF BOOKS INTRODUCES NEW EDITION OF THE WONDER BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE

Fieldville - The Proctor of Books has issued the newest edition of the Wonder Book of Knowledge.  Touted as the compendium of all sanctioned knowledge it will be a must for all citizens' households, this book will indispensable to every moral citizen in Fieldville.  This edition will also include useful charms and spells directly from Local #42 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Way.  Some of the spells include "Wart B-Gone", and the ever popular "Magic Potato".
Everything you are allowed to know.
Thanks for your support

Monday, May 2, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Tax Day a Success

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared Tax Day a success today.
Tax Day is a success.
Thanks for your support.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Poor People Illegal

Fieldville - In a bold move Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared poor people illegal in Fieldville. When asked who would rake leaves and keep the country club manicured a spokesperson stated, "The council of proctors has decided they would outsource these important tasks.  In this way we can keep Fieldville pure and still have those necessary chores done.  The plan is to bus Cattown residents everyday at sunrise and have them out of Fieldville by sundown."

Citizens Laud the council in their progressive thinking on the poverty problem.  Today is Tax Day - pay  your taxes or you may find you are being bused in from Cattown to rake my leaves.

Poor people are now illegal in Fieldville
Thanks for your support.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Fieldville's New Smokestack

Filedville - Municipal workers today erected a new smokestack in the Cob Park fountain.  Citizens will now be able to stand closer to the fountain during Burn Daze and will be able to hear other citizens' loose talk that can be used against them during Accusation Day.

Municipal workers erect new chimney in the Cob Park fountain.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives State of Fieldville Address

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus laid to rest any doubts of citizenry about Fieldville's future.
Citizen are now perfectly at ease.
Thanks for your support - send sewer gas, aqueducts, cisterns, chicken quarters, IT Directors, HR Directors, any administrator of any kind, pool tables, and tweets to @cjswift

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives Cattown An Offer They Can't Refuse!

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus gave Cattown an offer they couldn't refuse!  A package, delivered by special courier, was dropped on the doorstep of Cattown City Hall. Beneath the package was a small note, which read, "you're stirring up the residents of our Artists' District with all your talk of working conditions and paying wages - stop or pay the consequences." The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has said, "Let them eat cake."
An Offer They Can't Refuse!
Thanks for your support - send Asian Carp, aggressive weed control, plastic jon boats, Iron Butterflies, Led Zeppelins, Phish, and tweets to @cjswift

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Announces Fieldville Fun Daze

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus has announced the dates for Fieldville Fun Daze. "Our self has decided Fieldville Fun Daze will occur just before Accusation and Open Court Day this year,  We believe that moving Fun Daze will actually occasion more accusations than we had last year, and nothing is more fun than that." Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus went on to say, "Residents of Cattown and the Artists' District have been acting like citizens, demanding such things as pay and safe working conditions, those things are reserved for citizens, not mere residents."
Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus is counting on more accusations this year.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Free Bird Spotted Over Moralton

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes hasn't incarcerated all resident pigeons, our Moralton correspondent captured this image of a free bird flying over Fieldville's closest ally - Moralton.

Free Bird spotted over Moralton!
Thanks for your support please send: Lynyrd Skynyrd posters, extra "Y"s, squab pie recipes, more guitar strings, Ronnie Van Zant riffs, better inspected Convair CV-240s, bands with less than ten deceased past band members, bands with less than ten deceased current band members, and tweets to @cjswift

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fieldville Incarcerated Resident Pigeons

Fieldville - No word yet on why resident pigeons have been incarcerated by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes.
Pigeons incarcerated!