Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fieldville Farmers Find Fields Favorable For Fructose

Fieldville - In a flurry Fieldville farmers have been in their fall fields harvesting this year's crop of high fructose.
Fieldville Fructose Farm.
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Monday, September 27, 2010

Citizen Claims Ride in a Strange Craft

Fieldville - A citizen today claimed he was abducted and taken high into the air above Fieldville.  Everyone at the Cob Cafe was all astir of his account. 

Donald Frizbee of Fish Lane stated, "These here funny looking folks took me clean out of my backyard whilst I was checkin' my rain gauge.  They took me up in this flying thing and showed me a real good time.  I was sorry when they took me back down, but that ship of theirs kinda smelled like a cattle barn."

Citizen Frizbee said the strangers gave him a picture of Cow Flop Hill at the edge of town, but your trusty reporter can't make head or tails of it.

Why did the strangers take Mr. Frizbee's toothpaste?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Locales Around Fieldville Report Missing Cattle

Fieldville - A number of strange cases of missing cattle have been cropping up in Fieldville.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes as well as the Proctor of Meat and Jell-O Salads are on the case.

Missing Cattle Reported Around Fieldville

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Proctors Reject Use of Mindless Dummies

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has issued a decree entitled: NON-USE HALF-HEADED WINDOW MODELS.  All citizen-storekeepers are required to remove any models which fall into the above category.
The Proctor of Retail and Small Musical Instruments was quoted as saying, "I have half a mind to take them out myself."

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Truth or Fiction?

Fieldville - A photo of the surface of Mars turned up today clearly showing footprints from someone wearing Crocs.  Our Dear Supreme Leader was not available for comment.

The Palace has no comment on the so-call Mars Croc Footprint

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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Fieldville's East Side Strip Mall to Add a New Hallway

Fieldville - In a surprise announcement the Citizens Management Company LLC, the owners of Fieldville's beloved East Side Strip Mall®, proposed adding a new hallway to its already vast complex.  The hallway, to be called Plaza de Grimy, will link two of the strip mall's most popular and important anchor stores - the Cob Store® and Bean, Beans, and Beans®. Gone will be the days when citizen shoppers will have to brave rain, sleet, or snow, in pursuit of their shopping duties.  As Our Dear Supreme Leader says, "Shop til you drop citizens and be sure to use your Banco de Fieldville Debtors Card® There's always more where that came from."


Artist's Concept of the new Plaza de Grimy Hallway

Friday, September 17, 2010

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader Endorses the Mission of the Scientific Gentlemen From Iowa City

Fieldville - ☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader has endorsed the work on the Council of Proctors by the scientific gentleman from Iowa City. He was seen today in a crowd of citizens who had gathered to watch what the scientific gentlemen from Iowa City have called the "Morality Stress Test."  ☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader is concerned that the rouge Minister of Morality caused some damage to the moral fiber of Fieldville.  In his own words, "We believe that our colleagues in the council are essentially moral, but we believe it never hurts to test for moral decay.  We think that the knowledge gained by the Proctologists studying the proctors will be worth the slight discomfort that some of the council may experience."

The Iowa City Proctologists are conducting a Moral Stress Test on all Fieldville Proctors.

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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Proctors Respond to Iowa City Gentlemen

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors reacted today to the arrival of the Iowa City Proctologists.
Proctors' Reaction

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Iowa City to Study Council of Proctors

Fieldville - This morning's 9:50 train from Iowa City brought with it quite a surprise.  Four gentlemen from the University of Morality stepped onto Fieldville's platform.  The elder of the group addressed us, and informed us that they had been sent by the University's President of Morality to study Fieldville's unique form of government. "The President of Morality believes there are lessons to be learned by the University.  She believes that much of what the proctors and your Dear Supreme Leader do can be directly applied to the University," said the elderly professor.

The gentlemen were all carrying sticks that they said they would use to probe the inter-working of the proctors.
The Gentlemen from Iowa City who will study the Council of Proctors call themselves "Proctologists"

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Monday, September 13, 2010

Council of Proctors Introduce the Fieldville CobCar

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors introduced the Fieldville CobCar.  The ultimate in fuel efficiency, the CobCar is powered by a resident or two, leaving the riding citizen time to talk on their cell phone or text the Council of Proctors with congratulations.  Since five CobCars can be parked in the space of just one regular car, this alone will help solve the serious parking problem around Cob Park.  All praise to the Council of Proctors!!!

The New Fieldville CobCar will appear soon on Fieldville's roadways

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Scientists Annouce a Possible Meteor Near Miss

Fieldville - Scientists today announced that Fieldville may have a bit of a light show as a 14 kilometer meteor will have a near miss with Fieldville.  Scientists assure citizens that the meteor will miss Fieldville by thousands of miles and provide "quite the light show" for citizens and residents.

No Worries, Mate!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fieldville Issues a Boil Order - No Worries

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors ordered a boil order for all Fieldville water.  The Proctor of Utilities and Sports Fields stated, "The water of Fieldville is perfect, there are no problems. We have issued the boil order only because boiled water tastes better.  No citizen need worry about the safety of Fieldville's water, there is no truth in the rumors about radioactive decay products; as a matter of fact all those rumors about decay products in general.  Good citizens know that the Council of Proctors only have the good of citizens in mind."

Boil your water because it tastes good!

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Citizens Scale Palace Walls

Fieldville - In an air of giddy delight, citizens scaled the palace walls, today. In honor of the upcoming Fieldville Cob Daze, citizens showed their delight by climbing the palace walls.  This years Fieldville Cob Daze will feature Donkey Basketball and Keg Standing on Cob Street.

Donkey Basketball and Keg Standing will be offered this year at Fieldville Cob Daze.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Stuck Inside of Fieldville With Those Memphis Blues Again.

Fieldville - Yes, dear reader you read it right - Fieldville.  I thought I had rid myself of it once and for all, but that is not to be. I am now back on Cob Avenue at the beck and call of Our Dear Supreme Leader, once again. Let me tell you how this came to pass, before I bow my head and cry at what the cruel fates have given me to bear.

It started out as a quiet Sunday afternoon, broken only occasionally by jacked rap wafting on the clement air, the random pig or turkey truck.  I was in my studio when I heard a rap at my front door.  I pulled open my door to see in front of me, my worst nightmare.  Outside my door stood Our Dear Supreme Leader and a cadre of Justice and Taxes enforcers.  Dare I say resistance was futile, and now I am back on Cob Avenue.

Woe is me!

Knock knock! Who's there?

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Saturday, September 4, 2010

Our Dear Supreme Leader Surrounded by 1000's of Historic Figures

Washington, IA - This morning as the mythical "Our Dear Supreme Leader" figure attempted to crash a photo of a historic Washington parade, the historic spectators surrounded him.  Amid shouts of, "Take his pixels," and "defrag him," the mythical character seemed to remain calm in the face of what surely would be his erasure.

No additional photos are available to show what happened next.

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dear Supreme Leader Spotted in Front of Benteco's

Once more the Dear Supreme Leader has appeared around Washington's square in a 70 year time warp.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Cooling Trend Expected for the Weekend

Washington - The City Meteorologist has predicted the upcoming holiday weekend will be cooler than last week - the following image is not endorsed by Washington Meteorology Department.

Cooling Trend This Weekend

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