Sunday, January 31, 2010

Spontaneous Combustion Daze Coming Soon♨

January has slipped away and now it's February and we're all getting ready for Spontaneous Combustion Daze here in Fieldville.  That's right it's almost February 2nd and time the big SCD celebration.  The whole gang will be there to see if the tires in the fountain spontaneously ignite when the noonday sun strikes them.  All good citizens of Fieldville are hoping for just a fountain full of wet frozen tires.  For as we all know if the tires ignite that means 6 more weeks of winter.  Those residents of the Artists District that are battling the Fieldville Tire Station Fire for their free rent in the substandard apartments of the Artists' District will have the day off for the celebration and to be on hand if they have to put out the Spontaneous Combustion Daze fire as well.

Last Year's SCD in Cob Park

Last year the fire burned a month and we had two and half more months of winter, we'll keep our fingers crossed for this year. 

In other news, it is 30 days until the official Street Level Tour leaves for Cancun.  Those of you that are Facebook friends got a short video about the tour.  As it stands now all the old friends from Street Level will be there: Dear Supreme Leader, Biff, most of the Council of Proctors, the entire cast of Smith Family Values, and new friends that will be added to Street Level in the coming weeks.

Thanks for your support - send a bag of cats, bags of money, bags of bags, bags of Lady Gaga, bags of used guitar strings, bags fingernail clippings, bags of lawn waste, bags of shovels, bags of airline tickets, bags of sacks, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Monday, January 25, 2010

How much more of this do you want to endure?

Since Street Level is going to Yucatan in 36 days, we thought we would leave you with this:


Here is Washington

Now look at what you will see in Yucatan:



By the way that water is about 75 degrees

Thanks for your support - send cervesas, sun, sand, palm trees, sunglasses, palapas, sailboats, kayaks, tropical sun, sunsets, big full moon reflections on the water (March 2nd and 3rd will be close to full moons), and tweets with your application to @cjswift ex machina

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Street Level is going to Yucatan and So are You

Street Level will be going to Yucatan in 37 days follow the link below to get just the slightest taste of what we will be doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Click here for more info really click on it, it won't bite, it will take you to the Studio 909 website...


Thanks for your support - send your applications SOON and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Banned in Fieldville

The Proctor of Free Speech and Correct Thought has reviewed the last series of Smith Family Values and has determined them to be a detriment to the free city of Fieldville and all of its sub-dominions.  She is therefore banning the Sally series of Smith Family Values until such time as they show the Dear Supreme Leader is like a father to us all and if we have any problems whatsoever, well we can always text or tweet him for advice.  During his well deserved rest on the shores of Mud Lake, The Proctor of Free Speech and Correct Thought will be monitoring your texts and tweets for signs of incorrect thought.  Yes, all the free citizens will have their texts and tweets monitored at no extra cost to them, during this trial period.

Click if you dare all clicks with be monitored

Thanks for your support - send sleet, freezing rain, ice build up, falling branches, freezing puddles, power outages, ice-covered cars, frozen locks, stuck windshield wipers, frozen mirrors, zero traction, ice jams, end of the world scenario claiming  meteorologists, and cable news to Pat Robertson so he can tell us which one of you out there caused all this.  Oh, and you can send tweets to @cjswift, but do it ex machina


Monday, January 18, 2010

Sally's Big Weekend

Well Sally took her ill gotten gains and had a great weekend.  That's no way to teach Smith Family Values, let's see what she did.





How did she get her head to float like that?

Thanks for your support - send Triumph the Dog, Jay-no-More brand remote controls, clockwork washing machines, big hair chicks, parking validation, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina
 

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Lacuna

Sally's sitting in a dark room contemplating her next steps and Dear Supreme Leader and his posse are all in South Fieldville catching rays on the beach.  The rest of us well...run to the mirror and see if anything is etching itself onto your forehead.

Click to be annoyed by a rodent

Thanks for your support - send Sally soul taking instructions, time-traveling communist ☭ foreign alien zombies, buckets and buckets of hubris, a texting plan that includes an intelligent operator requirement, a text program that breaks your nose if you're stupid, nose surgery insurance, anti-growth powder for politician's noses, nosy misinformed people of all kinds, the type of idiots that comment on the bottom of news posts, all the compassionate Wall Street Bankers that you can put on the head of a pin, a boat load of fools, positive-thinking crusading snoopers, S-N double O-P - D-O double G, Limos, million dollar boat$, trashcans full of toxic Chinese toys, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What's a Girl, With a Pact With Satan, to Do?

Sally is way past hip deep on this one and she just keeps going.



Click to see Sally's debacle 

Thanks for your support - send a more popular phone style, the latest in used jeans, people who live their life according their horoscope, popular pet styles, popular boots, popular car colors, popular hair color, popular piercings, only the best kind of popular friends, a popular weight, a popular beastie or two, toe rings and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sally's New Posse

No Sally, no!?!?!?!?!?!?



Thanks for your support - send tickets to House on the Rock next Halloween, chicken scratches, cat scratch fever, a teeny tiny wee little box that can hold Pat Robertson's soul, wooden shoes, Pan Am boarding passes, Eastern Airlines Peanuts, Braniff Barf Bags, Ketchup packets from the Dairy-Dee-Lite, Hadrian's Wall brand defense products, a large bag of Zip Burger fries, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

☆✮✯☆✮✯SPECIAL GUEST EDITION☆✮✯☆✮✯

Tonight Amy and Lynelle weigh in on Sally's basic loserness...

↑↑↑↑↑↑Click to see what Amy and Lynelle have to say about Sally↑↑↑↑↑↑↑

Thanks for your support - send stuff and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sally's Dropping the Dime on Sailor Boy

Look Sally, look, your loser badge is back.  Do you know why Sally?  Do you know why?


Click to see Sally's plan

Thanks for your support - send large amounts of unmarked non-sequential small bills in a really nice case, someone to answer the photo quiz, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Saturday, January 9, 2010

回回回回Will Sally Turn in Sailor Boy???回回回回

Sally had lost her loser tag for 6 panels, but now she has it back.


回回回 Click for the real deal 回回回

Thanks for your support - send anti-social networks, kayaks, flippers, free Willy's, lo carb potatoes, and OMG tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Sailor Boy Palms off Sally

Sailor Boy is really going to step into tonight - Sailor Boy you have a good gig don't blow it...

↑↑↑↑↑click to see Sally's shame↑↑↑↑↑

Thanks for your support - send heated sidewalks, snow tunnels, 36 hours of arctic weather, -40 ゚F wind chills, Ripple, MD-20 20, Thunderbird, and flavor of Boone's Apple Farm, bonus programs for corporate welfare CEOs, face putty, Tidy Bowl sailors, bite-no-more brand flea powder, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sailor Boy Just Can't Give it Up.

Here we go again, Sally and Sailor Boy are going at it again.


Click for the full impact

Thanks for your support - carne de res, pollo, arroz con gravey, coches de chocolate, wind chimes, bocas del mar, perlas del Mud Lake, Medicos de house keys, drums de arena, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sally Lashes Out at Sailor Boy - Like the Big Loser she is...

Future Smith Family Values


Oh, Sally, oh!

Thanks for your support - send full body scans, all the nutcases that have all the opinions on them, intrusions of all kinds, puritanical American values, airport pat downs, secondary screening, first class only screening lines, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Monday, January 4, 2010

Blue Snats Invade Fieldville

Fieldville - the Proctor of Science and Endowments has warned Street Level of an invasion of Cattown Blue Snats, known in Cattown as Blue Smilers.  Snats are a cross between a snail and a cat are generally considered to be a pest by citizens of Fieldville.  In Cattown they are a delicacy, and Blue Smilers are considered the best.


Blue Smilers are invading Fieldville

Thanks - send the stuff listed in the earlier blog

A Peek into the Future of Our Past

It's still too cold for anyone at the palace to do anything but lay about in the palace baths drinking wine and eating humming bird tongues.  Citizens are still huddling near their pathetic little fires, and Local 23 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Path are doing secret stuff.  The Smith Family Values are still on the train as Grandma and Grandpa's farm is over a hundred miles away from Fieldville and it will take them three days to get home.

Street Level is going to travel ahead in time to the year 2025 when the Sally Story will finally be published.  We are going to look at the years before, when Sally's story was being written.


Click to See Sally's Sad Story

Thanks for your support - send silverware, mouse traps, Kleenex, Hypnotism, sump pumps, travel brochures, Saturn Dealerships, digital chairs, leprosy ward bedding, carry-ons that don't fit under the seat, chocolate covered bacon, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Helpful Hints from the 70's

 It is currently 9 °F at the Fieldville Aerodrome 

The Smith Family Values® are on the train back home to Fieldville, Biff and Dear Supreme Leader are in the palace casino trying to increase the treasury, and the citizens and residents of Fieldville are huddling near their smokey coal fires waiting for the sun to start warming up Crick County.

Street Level is too lazy to do much. So a reprise of a Classic Mark Trail's Outdoor Tips, is about all you're going to get today.
We're glad to see that "Dry Firing" in your living room was an accepted behavior in 1972.  We think an earlier longer version suggested that you also swing on pets, children, and your spouse, but that was redacted in 8-23-72 version for the sake of column space.

Thank you for your support - send more pictures, lamps, rolling balls, drywall, chandeliers, carpet, ceiling tiles, plasma TVs, entertainment centers, living room furniture, gun safety pamphlets, breach checking dry firers, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

See
░http://photoslamdown.blogspot.com/ for exciting photog news.░
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Saturday, January 2, 2010

Smith Family Values ♨

Sailor Boy Shows the Children a Big Fan.

One day it was very cold at Grandma and Grandpa's farm.  Sailor Boy took the children out to see the hog shed.


Sally, see the brown icicles!

Thanks for support - send lots more degrees NOW, large donations, Photoshop upgrades, Canon EF 800mm f/5.6L IS USM Super Telephoto Lenses, Alienware Area-51 7500 PCs, pairs of alligator boots by Manolo Blahnik, Roberto Cavalli cutting edge style bling jeans, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina

Friday, January 1, 2010

Blue Moon Over Fieldville

Fieldville - This year's Festivus started with a blue moon.  Street Level went to Local 23 of the brotherhood of the Druidic Path for the meaning of this, and all that it may portend.  We talked to Frank, the head druid, who told us Blue Moons were a pretty good beer, someplace named Kentucky had a lot of them.  The actual event in Fieldville looked like this:


A Festive Fieldville Festivus

Smith Family Values

Last night on the train Sailor Boy frightened Sally with squealing pigs.

Look Sally, look.  You are having a creepy dream.  You are having a creepy dream because Sailor Boy frightened you.  You will have to put Ex-Lax in her gin bottle again.


Jane has a special Festivus nightmare

Thanks for your support - send more sleep, less rum, a few more degrees, twits, twerps, and tweets to @cjswift ex machina 
Merry New Years and a Happy Festivus