Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tristmegistus
Mud Lake - As the heat wave continues Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus is at the Mud Lake palace enjoying self-realization, and anxious to return to Fieldville and comforts of Cob Park and its environs. But is is not just a break for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, he is searching for the great heat snake that has wrapped itself around the Free Territories of Fieldville. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile serpent and return Fieldville to the paradise that we all know and love.
Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile heat serpent
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Sunday, July 24, 2011
Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Explains Kinder/Gentler
Mud Lake - During the recent heat wave Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus and the Council of Proctors took a break from onus of governance and citizen's pleas for mercy succor. While enjoying a much needed rest, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus had a chance to speak with a young citizen about what it means to be Kinder/Gentler. After the discussion, the young citizen, still in awe with speaking to the great man, said that Kinder Gentler had something to do with a velvet glove in an iron gauntlet or maybe it was the other way around.
Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus talks about gloves
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Fieldville's 87th day with Above Normal Temps
Fieldville - today marks the 87th consecutive day Fieldville has experienced above normal temperatures.
Even the tried and true cooling spots like Swineherd Slough or the many confinement retention ponds seem to hold no amount of refreshment now. Citizens are reminded that the fountain in Cob Park is not open to any sort of water sport except during weekly punishment. Some citizens are whispering that Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's new policy of Kinder/Gentler is affecting the weather.
Current dew point 99 degrees
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Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Fieldville Municipal Workers Work Through the Night
Fieldville - Last night, while most citizens were safely asleep in their homes, thanks to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the Council of Proctors, Fieldville municipal workers were toiling through the night to ready Cob Park for Surprise Judgement Daze. Yes that's right, tonight is the compulsory accusation ceremony and token stoning. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated since he is now kinder and gentler, only a resident of the Artists' District will be used for the stoning, not a citizen. Many old-timers from the Cob Cafe have been complaining that is not how it was done in their day. The Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated that he may make an exception to his "Not Stoning a Citizen Rule" in their case.
Workers preparing for Surprise Judgement Daze.
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Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tom Says He Searches Every Day for His Hot Cuisine
Fieldville - Tom the beloved Fieldville Turkey Vulture said today, "I search everyday for my hot cuisine, if you want the best you need the tenderest."
Tom searches everyday for the tenderest carrion for his hot cuisine
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tom's Hot Cuisine
Fieldville - Tom, Fieldville's beloved Turkey Vulture, has started a new vulture venture: "Tom's Hot Cuisine". Tom says the excessive heat over the last few days has created a carrion surplus. He believes that with a spatula and squeegee any taste of hot cuisine can be accommodated from Fieldville's blacktop roads. So as Tom says, Don't swerve, it's all a tenderizing process."
Don't swerve - tenderize
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Fieldville Rejoices
Fieldville - Citizens and residents alike gathered in Cob Park this morning to witness the first ever Fieldville lottery drawing. This week's estimated jackpot was 5,000,000,000 cobs to one lucky winner. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader personally drew the winning numbers. The crowd all checked their tickets and when numbers were compared it was the Dear Beloved Supreme Leader who had the lucky ticket. The crowd erupted in spontaneous applause and joyful praise for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.
Many could not believe Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Council of Proctors Enacts Lottery
The Council of Proctors has enacted the lottery demanded by the Goddess of Luck this morning.
You have to play to win.
Headless Goddess of Luck Speaks
Fieldville - Today the Headless Goddess of Luck spoke to a group of citizens in Cob Park. She stated that the Council of Proctors will be compelled to pass Fieldville lottery ordinance. This lottery will solve all the economic problems of the Free Territory of Fieldville. She also said that it will collect more revenue from the Artists' District and the money can be used to help build the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace.
Headless Goddess of Luck orders Council of Proctors to pass lottery ordinance.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Cattown Evil-Doers See the Light
Fieldville - Today, there are numerous reports of the evil-doers in Cattown seeing the light of our newly fully self-realized Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus. First reports were from a forested glen just outside of the town, but reports are now coming from all over the infamous village of evil. Fieldville citizens and residents alike can soon expect a wave of non-taxpayers flooding our city using our infrastructure and trashing the morals of our precious children - oh the humanity!
Expect a flood of Cattown evil-doers!
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Self-Realizes
Fieldville - Today, in a bombshell dropped by the palace, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself self-realized. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader was quoted as saying, "We are now fully self-realized and will instruct the Council of Proctors to enact laws that are kinder and gentler to the citizens of Fieldville. We have decided to schedule trials and executions separately, when called for."
Word is that the residents of the Artists' District can expect to see their residency permits to become less expensive and only see a doubling of their exorcism taxes to administer the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace that is being built to handle Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's larger more self-realized ego.
Thanks for your support...
Word is that the residents of the Artists' District can expect to see their residency permits to become less expensive and only see a doubling of their exorcism taxes to administer the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace that is being built to handle Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's larger more self-realized ego.
Thanks for your support...
Friday, July 8, 2011
Citizen Illegally Turns Front Steps to Gold
Fieldville - It was discovered today that a citizen has turned his front steps to gold. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds every citizen that alchemy is a "permit only" activity. "If everyone turned their steps to gold the entire cob economy would collapse - we'd be no better than Cattown," the proctor said.
No word yet when the trail and execution will be scheduled.
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