Headless Goddess of Luck Speaks

Fieldville - Today the Headless Goddess of Luck spoke to a group of citizens in Cob Park. She stated that the Council of Proctors will be compelled to pass Fieldville lottery ordinance.  This lottery will solve all the economic problems of the Free Territory of Fieldville.  She also said that it will collect more revenue from the Artists' District and the money can be used to help build the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace.

Headless Goddess of Luck orders Council of Proctors to pass lottery ordinance.

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Cattown Evil-Doers See the Light

Fieldville - Today, there are numerous reports of the evil-doers in Cattown seeing the light of our newly fully self-realized Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus.  First reports were from a forested glen just outside of the town, but reports are now coming from all over the infamous village of evil.  Fieldville citizens and residents alike can soon expect a wave of non-taxpayers flooding our city using our infrastructure and trashing the morals of our precious children - oh the humanity!

Expect a flood of Cattown evil-doers!

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Self-Realizes

Fieldville - Today, in a bombshell dropped by the palace, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself self-realized. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader was quoted as saying, "We are now fully self-realized and will instruct the Council of Proctors to enact laws that are kinder and gentler to the citizens of Fieldville. We have decided to schedule trials and executions separately, when called for."

Word is that the residents of the Artists' District can expect to see their residency permits to become less expensive and only see a doubling of their exorcism taxes to administer the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace that is being built to handle Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's larger more self-realized ego.

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Citizen Illegally Turns Front Steps to Gold

Fieldville - It was discovered today that a citizen has turned his front steps to gold.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds every citizen that alchemy is a "permit only" activity. "If everyone turned their steps to gold the entire cob economy would collapse - we'd be no better than Cattown," the proctor said.

No word yet when the trail and execution will be scheduled.

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Council of Proctors See Signs of Pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader

Fieldville - the Council of Proctors have seen signs of pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader of late.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Receives Strange Correspondence

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Received Strange Correspondence. According to the palace, while Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus was gazing at the sky and a letter came fluttering down to the parapet in front of him.  Below is that correspondence.

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Cob Café Acquires New Coffee Machine

Fieldville - the Cob Café  has acquired a new coffee machine, known as a Java Blaster, the machine will reduce the amount of expensive water used in the preparation Fieldville's citizens morning cup, rendering a thick syrup-like liquid, known as; sciroppo di brutale.  Sciroppo di brutale will sell for a few thousand cobs per cup, but it will be worth it.

The Java Blaster is a revolution in coffee making.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville - During the last two weeks Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus has been pacing the Loggia dei Supremo wondering just what Fieldville needs in all of its perfection.  Reliving his defeat of the evil-doers in the Satanic Empire of Cattown and foiling of the coup attempt by the former Minister Morality, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus wonders if there is anything yet to do.  On his balcony at the palace he has been enjoying his view of Cob Park and hustle and bustle of good moral tax-paying citizens.  He has been thinking, "Perfection is sweet."

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville Fire Plugs Now User Friendly

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has ordered new "user-friendly" fire hydrants for all of the areas outside of citizens homes.  If they prove successful they may appear in such places as the Artists' District.  "Since we outsourced fire protection we've had a bit of a problem with contract fire fighters sense of direction - we believe to will alleviate the unfortunate loss of citizen property since our groundbreaking move to outsourcing. Thanks for you support," said the Proctor of Fire and Marching Tunes.

User-Friendly

Justice and Taxes Enforcers Conduct Search of Grimy's House

Fieldville - Justice and Taxes Enforcers conducted a routine search of Fieldville's mascot the beloved Grimy the Groundhog's house.  As part of Justice and Taxes new program - STEP Special Tax Enforcer Program, enforcers searched the house of Grimy, the beloved mascot of Fieldville house.  After finding several packets of sugar and an obviously homemade patch of high fructose corn syrup, a more thorough search was ordered.

The Proctor of Justice and Taxes was quoted as saying, "Citizens should feel special to be selected as part of the STEP.  Evidence can be purchased back from the enforcers before next year's Judgement Daze."

Grimy's house after a routine search using STEP.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Killing Caterpillars is a Capital Offense

Fieldville - The palace today declared killing caterpillars is a capital offense. It is not immediately known why Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus, has made this declaration.

Killing a catapillar can get you killed

Only 6 Days to the Rapture of Allegation Day

Fieldville - With the tension mounting the Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that they need to vigilant. "Many a citizen's moral hygiene has been spoiled by not watching for signs of contagious corruption by their neighbors. A sure sign is Satanic Dancers in your alley or backyard."

6 days left - watching for signs.

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Only 9 Days Left, Right?

Fieldville - With only 9 days left until Judgement Day, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, is looking forward to his role of judge and jury.  It is reported that he has caused images to appear in the skies over Fieldville, leaving citizens to wonder if allegations will be made against them - stay tuned.

Citizens are seeing things in the skies over Fieldville

जुद्गेमेंट डे इस कमिंग, दो यू क्नोव वेयर यौर तोवेल इस?

Allegation Day Set in 10 Days

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, has finally set the day for Fieldville annual Allegation Day.  This year it will be on May 21st and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, promises it will be a day of judgement, recrimination, and moral family fun for all non-incriminated citizens.  "We believe the Allegation Day is second only to Righteous Stoning Day in the improvement of the moral hygiene of our citizens," Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus said today.

May 21st will be a day of judgement

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Fieldville's Marine Biologist Reveals Startling Discovery

Fieldville - Fieldville's Municipal Marine Biologist unveiled a startling find this morning.  "I was taking water samples from Cob Pond this morning when I saw something move in there - I mean not just move, but swim," She exclaimed to Street Level.  Cob Pond, the Artists' District only water supply has long since been thought biologically sterile and unable to support life.

After this morning's announcement many residents of the Artists' District were seen heading toward Cob Pond with fishing poles.

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Fieldville Bank Supports New Austerity Measures

Fieldville - Fieldville Band today showed its solidarity with the Council of Proctors in their austerity measures.

Fieldville Bank respects Council of Proctors' wishes

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Council of Proctors New Austerity Measures Take Effect Today

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors new austerity measures take effect today. In order to comply with the proctors' orders, municipal workers have been ordered to "think out of the box".  One clever worker took a page from a local electrician and is now using duct tape on all city maintenance projects.

Duct tape now holds up Fieldville's mighty streetlights.

Street Level will report when they begin using duct tape for street repair.

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PROCTOR OF BOOKS INTRODUCES NEW EDITION OF THE WONDER BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE

Fieldville - The Proctor of Books has issued the newest edition of the Wonder Book of Knowledge.  Touted as the compendium of all sanctioned knowledge it will be a must for all citizens' households, this book will indispensable to every moral citizen in Fieldville.  This edition will also include useful charms and spells directly from Local #42 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Way.  Some of the spells include "Wart B-Gone", and the ever popular "Magic Potato".

Everything you are allowed to know.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Tax Day a Success

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared Tax Day a success today.

Tax Day is a success.

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Poor People Illegal

Fieldville - In a bold move Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared poor people illegal in Fieldville. When asked who would rake leaves and keep the country club manicured a spokesperson stated, "The council of proctors has decided they would outsource these important tasks.  In this way we can keep Fieldville pure and still have those necessary chores done.  The plan is to bus Cattown residents everyday at sunrise and have them out of Fieldville by sundown."

Citizens Laud the council in their progressive thinking on the poverty problem.  Today is Tax Day - pay  your taxes or you may find you are being bused in from Cattown to rake my leaves.

Poor people are now illegal in Fieldville

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