Our dear supreme leader's memorise

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Sails Mud Lake

Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Sailed Mud Lake this weekend.  The southern palace stated that "Our Dearness was a fantastic sailor, like everything that he does, he was perfect from the start.  Many  experienced sailors gathered around Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader to get tips that would improve their seamanship.

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Citizens rejoice

Fieldville - Citizens and residents alike rejoiced when the Fieldville Ale Company tanker pulled into the Fish Lane Liquor Store with its weekly supply of Fieldville Ale.

This week's supply of Fieldville Ale has finally arrived

Dear Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader

Fieldville - Today the palace announced that as part of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's program of self realization, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader will give advice to normal citizens FREE OF CHARGE. The following is the first installment:

Dear Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader:

You are my hero and you are dearly beloved at our family altar. My taxpaying dad loves to talk about your exploits in the Cattown Wars, and your justice in dealing with the evil-doers. I am a junior at Fieldville High and love Fieldville High's Fighting Fighters, but the proctor of our school wants to raise next year's graduation, desk rental, and janitorial fees.  Some of my friends, not me, don't think it's fair, because Flattburgh High's fee's are less and they even have classes like art and waterboarding.  We all know that it is a privilege to live in the Free Territories of Fieldville, Besides, Flattburgh still owes Fieldville billions of cobs for their complacency in the Cattown Wars, shouldn't Flattburgh pay our fees, since we will be taxpaying citizens and they are only Flattburghers?

Yours in Fieldville's future,

Name withheld for fear of decapitation.

Dear Fear of Decapitation:

Fieldville High is the best educational institution in the Free Territories of Fieldville, and you should be proud to be part of it.  Complaining taxpayers have no place in Fieldville citizen society, it's the kind of thing I would expect from the Artists' District.  Speaking of art, there is no place in our schools for classes that don't add to our tax base, and we all know what the Artists' District is like.  Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and pay the fees that your proctor so deservedly demands.

Your Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.

The palace now gives free advice

Fish Lane Liquor Store Now Open 4 Hours a Day

Fieldville - The proprietors of the Fish Lane Liquor Store announced today they would now be open 4 hours a day - no word yet on which 4 hours.

Fish Lane Liquor Store Extends Hours

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Citizens Disgruntled Over New Justice and Taxes Ruling

Fieldville - With the persistent rumours of water possibly falling from the sky, Street Level has reposted a classic post.

There was a palpable air of tension pervading Cob Park this morning as citizens learned of the new Justice and Taxes ruling.  According to sources near the Proctory, the Proctor of Justice and Taxes is planning to levy a municipal water usage fee for water that has fallen on citizens' properties during the last few day.  According to undisclosed sources, the Proctor of Justice and Taxes sees the rain as direct competition with municipal water.  These sources say that when the proctor heard that some citizens were erecting devices to capture the "free" water - it was the last straw. The proctory has estimated that 167,000 gallons of "free" water has fallen on each acre of Fieldville during the last week.  No word yet on what the fee will be for each gallon of "free" water.

Citizens Disgruntled Over "Free" Water Fee

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Eat Your Carrots or Else!

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has issued a reminder that you should eat your carrots or else.

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Glorious Spontaneous Victory Gas Declared Safe by Bands of Roving Pigeons

Fieldville - Bands of roving pigeons seem to have declared Glorious Spontaneous Victory (GSV) gas safe for pigeons. Coupled with this weekend's declaration from the Council of Proctors that they deny Glorious Spontaneous Victory gas - spraying of GSV gas has resumed in areas near Cattown and the Artists' District.

Pigeons used as canaries.

Council of Proctors Issues a Blanket Denial of Everything.

Fieldville - Today the Council of Proctors issued a proclamation denying everything.  While the document generally denies everything, it specifically denies Climate Change and any or all culpability for any unfortunate changes in Fieldville's local fauna as the result of using "Glorious Spontaneous Victory" gas against Cattown during the glorious victory over evil-doers last year.

Glorious Spontaneous Victory gas is blameless.

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Proctor of Science and Upholstery Denies Climate Change

Fieldville - The Proctor of Science and Upholstery, in an official statement has denied Climate Change is a problem.  After 235 days straight of above average temperatures the Proctor of Science and Upholstery is blaming Cattown and the invention of the Heat Index for Fieldville's latest heat wave.

The invention of the so called "Heat Index" is the problem.

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☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader's 67th Dream

Our Dear Supreme Leader's 67th Dream

Vile Heat Serpent is in Cob Park

Where is Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader?

Tristmegistus

Mud Lake - As the heat wave continues Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus is at the Mud Lake palace enjoying self-realization, and anxious to return to Fieldville and comforts of Cob Park and its environs. But is is not just a break for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, he is searching for the great heat snake that has wrapped itself around the Free Territories of Fieldville.  Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile serpent and return Fieldville to the paradise that we all know and love.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has vowed to vanquish the vile heat serpent

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Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Explains Kinder/Gentler

Mud Lake - During the recent heat wave Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus and the Council of Proctors took a break from onus of governance and citizen's pleas for mercy succor.  While enjoying a much needed rest, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus had a chance to speak with a young citizen about what it means to be Kinder/Gentler.  After the discussion, the young citizen, still in awe with speaking to the great man, said that Kinder Gentler had something to do with a velvet glove in an iron gauntlet or maybe it was the other way around.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus talks about gloves

Fieldville's 87th day with Above Normal Temps

Fieldville - today marks the 87th consecutive day Fieldville has experienced above normal temperatures.

Even the tried and true cooling spots like Swineherd Slough or the many confinement retention ponds seem to hold no amount of refreshment now.  Citizens are reminded that the fountain in Cob Park is not open to any sort of water sport except during weekly punishment.  Some citizens are whispering that Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's new policy of Kinder/Gentler is affecting the weather.

Current dew point 99 degrees

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Fieldville Municipal Workers Work Through the Night

Fieldville - Last night, while most citizens were safely asleep in their homes, thanks to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the Council of Proctors, Fieldville municipal workers were toiling through the night to ready Cob Park for Surprise Judgement Daze.  Yes that's right, tonight is the compulsory accusation ceremony and token stoning.  Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated since he is now kinder and gentler, only a resident of the Artists' District will be used for the stoning, not a citizen.  Many old-timers from the Cob Cafe have been complaining that is not how it was done in their day.  The Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has stated that he may make an exception to his "Not Stoning a Citizen Rule" in their case.

Workers preparing for Surprise Judgement Daze.

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Tom Says He Searches Every Day for His Hot Cuisine

Fieldville - Tom the beloved Fieldville Turkey Vulture said today, "I search everyday for my hot cuisine, if you want the best you need the tenderest."

Tom searches everyday for the tenderest carrion for his hot cuisine

Tom's Hot Cuisine

Fieldville - Tom, Fieldville's beloved Turkey Vulture, has started a new vulture venture: "Tom's Hot Cuisine". Tom says the excessive heat over the last few days has created a carrion surplus.  He believes that with a spatula and squeegee any taste of hot cuisine can be accommodated from Fieldville's blacktop roads.  So as Tom says, Don't swerve, it's all a tenderizing process."

Don't swerve - tenderize

Fieldville Rejoices

Fieldville - Citizens and residents alike gathered in Cob Park this morning to witness the first ever Fieldville lottery drawing.  This week's estimated jackpot was 5,000,000,000 cobs to one lucky winner.  Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader personally drew the winning numbers.  The crowd all checked their tickets and when numbers were compared it was the Dear Beloved Supreme Leader who had the lucky ticket. The crowd erupted in spontaneous applause and joyful praise for Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.

Many could not believe Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's luck.

Council of Proctors Enacts Lottery

The Council of Proctors has enacted the lottery demanded by the Goddess of Luck this morning.

You have to play to win.