Flattburgh T-Parser Thugs Attack Outlying Tenent Farmers

Fieldville - Thugs from Flattburgh were seen near the scene of an unconscionable attack on a citizen's property.  Howard Stone, who owns the property, said his property was sacked by T-Parser Thugs late last night, "The trailer I provide for my tenets was severely damaged in the raid, luckily the tenet was not severely damaged and should be able to pay his rent on time."

In a note found nailed to the tenet's arm, the T-Parsers stated this was only the start, "Flatburgh will not put up with extraneous "T"s any longer.  Fieldville will cease and desist!" T-Parsers claim they have no recognized leadership and are only following each other around in circles.

Citizen's property severely damaged

Flattburgh Drops a "T" and Violates Probation

Flattburgh - The Emergency Provisional Citizens Bureau of Flattburgh voted today to drop one of the "T" in its name, no word yet just which one was dropped.  The EPCB of Flattburgh, in a prepared statement said, "Citizens of Flatburgh are sick and tired of adding an extra "T" every time they write and say the name of our great city, henceforth, citizens will only use one "T"."  There are rumors that citizens of the town formally known as Flattburgh have taken to writing the name of Fieldville as Fieldvile.

The Proctor of Treaties and Provisions indicated that probation agreed upon between Fieldville and Flattburgh clearly had two "T"s.  Any adjustments would have to be agreed to by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the entire Council of Proctors.

Flattburgh's Citizen Assembly Hall shows clear violation of their treaty with Fieldville

Uppity Artists' District Residents Open Shop

Fieldville - Citizens are aghast at the audacity of certain denizens of the Artists' District, who set up a shop of sort without applying for full citizenship.  This morning many citizens at the Cob Café said so, in so many words, while opining over all the import topics current...

What next from the Artists' District?

Biff Enhances His Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Citizens and the denizens of the Artists' District noticed today that Biff has been enhancing his Fortress of Solitude.  The Council of Proctors is in the process of issuing an ale license to Biff.

Proctors issuing an ale license to Biff.

Biff Ponders the Thaumaturgical Mean from the Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Even the very moieties themselves will tremble when Biff contemplates the Thaumaturgical Mean. New Uber Biff is hard at work contemplating the mysteries that make Fieldville great and Cattown a den of poxy evildoers - with these matters on his mind we not see him until Sun Daze when all citizens light a tire in the Cob Park fountain bringing the spring back to Fieldville.

Uber Biff Ponders from the Fortress of Solitude

Biff's Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - This day will be a day that will echo down all known history of Fieldville as the day when Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader bestowed upon Biff the title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker.  Biff retired to his so-called Fortress of Solitude to meditate on his new duties.

Biff retires to his Fortress of Solitude to ponder his new title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker

Thanks for your support

Biff Emcees THE BIG SALE

Cob Park - Today Biff emceed THE BIG SALE, to the delight of citizens and residents alike.  Biff, known throughout the Free Territories of Fieldville for his wit, charm, and general bon viveur, stole the show as he liquidated all the useless assets and decorations from the government buildings of Fieldville.  Citizens purchased everything available and promptly donated them back the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. Biff smiled and waved to the crowd, as he jumped into the Biff-mobile, and raced off to his special place that he calls the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff - seen here adjusting the mighty Cob Park PA system.

Biff to be Featured at This Week's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!!!!

Fieldville - Biff is making a mad dash from Puerto de Mud Lake to be the Emcee at tomorrow's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE.  His spokesman told Street Level today, he wouldn't miss it and might even consider buying some of the windows and doors from the palace and reinstalling them as a gesture of good will toward Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.  The spokesman went on to say that ALL citizens BETTER should consider donating part ALL of their purchases to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.  He reminded everyone that the Minister of Morality will be monitoring  ALL CITIZENS the event.

Biff asks all citizens, and even the residents of the Artists' District, to bring baskets of cob notes, because they'll be sorry if THEY DON'T they miss anything! 

Biff to Emcee the MANDATORY BIG SALE

War Horses Only Regular Cattown Satanic Beasts

Fieldville - A closer inspection of yesterday's photo turned out to be just regular Cattown Satanic Beasts.  The Council of Proctors issues a sigh of relief.  The big sale is still on!

No problem just Cattown Satanic Beasts, whew.

What is Cattown Up To Now!

Fieldville - Just as citizens get ready for the Fieldville EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!! there are rumors that the evildoers of Cattown are up to no good.  A quick witted citizen snapped this picture this morning of a huge herd of horses massing on the steep slopes near Cattown.  Does anyone think they are other than WAR HORSES?

What are the evildoers of Cattown up to?

Proctors Amass Assets

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors today began amassing Fieldville assets for the big 50% off sale to be held in Cob Park next week.  The Big 50% OFF EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE is expected net enough sales to fund the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader for almost a month.  "Citizens have said they don't want the cost of citizenship to go up, and we've heard them," said the Proctor of Finance and Magic. "Everything must go as we fund only the essential portions of the Free Territories of Fieldville, such as the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader."

Everything must go

Emergency Emergency Council Session Called

Council of Proctors today issued the 100 Billion Cob note to cover expensive items like pencils and used wood shavings. The Council of Proctors is working to make all citizens lives' More Better. The proctors are currently taking bids on doors and windows from the palace to cover the new currency.

Council of Proctors Orders New Austerity Measures

Fieldville - After an emergency meeting of the Council of Proctors Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, through his spokesman, has agreed to new austerity measures in order to save ink in printing new Cob notes and to better serve citizens.  The Council of Proctors has begun to sell certain Fieldville assets in order to better serve citizens.  Beginning today, the slate shingles on the palace will be removed and sold to increase the size of the Free Territories of Fieldville emergency fund, which is used to pay Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's small stipend and the small honorarium provided to the Council of Proctors.  In addition, several hour of the day have been removed to save additional money.  Citizens rejoice at the wisdom of the council.

Useless decorations and hours to be sold for valuable cobs.

New Cob notes to be issued tomorrow which will solve all problems and everything will be perfect.

Thanks for your support

Send slate shingles, artwork, bridges, more taxes, airwaves, public buildings, public trust, more fear, more fees, and tweets to @cjswift

Found on the beach in Puerto de Mud Lake

Proctors baffled at the find!

Our Dear Supreme Leader Orders a New Portrait

Puerto de Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has ordered a new portrait.  The Proctor of Art and Regulation is rumored to have had a meeting with Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader,  in which he stated that not only did he want his face on all cob notes, but also in the hearts of all citizens.  The Minister of Science and Regulation is reportedly working on a way to inject the portrait directly in the heart of the citizenry.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - MMXI

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville's Minister of Morality Urges Shunning

Fieldville - The Minister of Morality today urged citizens to shun neighbors who openly practice tree bondage.  "It has come to our attention that certain of the citizenry have been openly practicing tree bondage," the plucky minister said.  "This kind of thing happens in the Artists' District all the time, but it is not going to be tolerated of decent tax-paying citizens."

Tree bondage will not be tolerated!

Thanks for your support - send snow blowers, pruning saws, chains, fish stix, Twinkies, beaches, surf, palm trees, flip flops, and tweets to @cjswift

Grimy Sees Shadow!!!!

Fieldville - This morning Grimy crawled out of the storm drain and saw his shadow.  The head of Local # 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Way read the augury and pronounced six more months of Winter.

Six more months of Winter - gee, thanks Grimy!