Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Self-Realizes

Fieldville - Today, in a bombshell dropped by the palace, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself self-realized. Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader was quoted as saying, "We are now fully self-realized and will instruct the Council of Proctors to enact laws that are kinder and gentler to the citizens of Fieldville. We have decided to schedule trials and executions separately, when called for."

Word is that the residents of the Artists' District can expect to see their residency permits to become less expensive and only see a doubling of their exorcism taxes to administer the new "Self-Realization" wing of the palace that is being built to handle Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's larger more self-realized ego.

Thanks for your support...

Citizen Illegally Turns Front Steps to Gold

Fieldville - It was discovered today that a citizen has turned his front steps to gold.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds every citizen that alchemy is a "permit only" activity. "If everyone turned their steps to gold the entire cob economy would collapse - we'd be no better than Cattown," the proctor said.

No word yet when the trail and execution will be scheduled.

Thanks for your support.

Council of Proctors See Signs of Pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader

Fieldville - the Council of Proctors have seen signs of pique in Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader of late.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Receives Strange Correspondence

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Received Strange Correspondence. According to the palace, while Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus was gazing at the sky and a letter came fluttering down to the parapet in front of him.  Below is that correspondence.

Thanks for your support.

Cob Café Acquires New Coffee Machine

Fieldville - the Cob Café  has acquired a new coffee machine, known as a Java Blaster, the machine will reduce the amount of expensive water used in the preparation Fieldville's citizens morning cup, rendering a thick syrup-like liquid, known as; sciroppo di brutale.  Sciroppo di brutale will sell for a few thousand cobs per cup, but it will be worth it.

The Java Blaster is a revolution in coffee making.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville - During the last two weeks Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus has been pacing the Loggia dei Supremo wondering just what Fieldville needs in all of its perfection.  Reliving his defeat of the evil-doers in the Satanic Empire of Cattown and foiling of the coup attempt by the former Minister Morality, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus wonders if there is anything yet to do.  On his balcony at the palace he has been enjoying his view of Cob Park and hustle and bustle of good moral tax-paying citizens.  He has been thinking, "Perfection is sweet."

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - Tristmegistus Smiles Down Upon on Fieldville

Fieldville Fire Plugs Now User Friendly

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has ordered new "user-friendly" fire hydrants for all of the areas outside of citizens homes.  If they prove successful they may appear in such places as the Artists' District.  "Since we outsourced fire protection we've had a bit of a problem with contract fire fighters sense of direction - we believe to will alleviate the unfortunate loss of citizen property since our groundbreaking move to outsourcing. Thanks for you support," said the Proctor of Fire and Marching Tunes.

User-Friendly

Justice and Taxes Enforcers Conduct Search of Grimy's House

Fieldville - Justice and Taxes Enforcers conducted a routine search of Fieldville's mascot the beloved Grimy the Groundhog's house.  As part of Justice and Taxes new program - STEP Special Tax Enforcer Program, enforcers searched the house of Grimy, the beloved mascot of Fieldville house.  After finding several packets of sugar and an obviously homemade patch of high fructose corn syrup, a more thorough search was ordered.

The Proctor of Justice and Taxes was quoted as saying, "Citizens should feel special to be selected as part of the STEP.  Evidence can be purchased back from the enforcers before next year's Judgement Daze."

Grimy's house after a routine search using STEP.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Killing Caterpillars is a Capital Offense

Fieldville - The palace today declared killing caterpillars is a capital offense. It is not immediately known why Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus, has made this declaration.

Killing a catapillar can get you killed

Only 6 Days to the Rapture of Allegation Day

Fieldville - With the tension mounting the Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that they need to vigilant. "Many a citizen's moral hygiene has been spoiled by not watching for signs of contagious corruption by their neighbors. A sure sign is Satanic Dancers in your alley or backyard."

6 days left - watching for signs.

Thanks for support.

Only 9 Days Left, Right?

Fieldville - With only 9 days left until Judgement Day, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, is looking forward to his role of judge and jury.  It is reported that he has caused images to appear in the skies over Fieldville, leaving citizens to wonder if allegations will be made against them - stay tuned.

Citizens are seeing things in the skies over Fieldville

जुद्गेमेंट डे इस कमिंग, दो यू क्नोव वेयर यौर तोवेल इस?

Allegation Day Set in 10 Days

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, has finally set the day for Fieldville annual Allegation Day.  This year it will be on May 21st and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Tristmegistus, promises it will be a day of judgement, recrimination, and moral family fun for all non-incriminated citizens.  "We believe the Allegation Day is second only to Righteous Stoning Day in the improvement of the moral hygiene of our citizens," Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Trismegistus said today.

May 21st will be a day of judgement

Thanks for your support

Fieldville's Marine Biologist Reveals Startling Discovery

Fieldville - Fieldville's Municipal Marine Biologist unveiled a startling find this morning.  "I was taking water samples from Cob Pond this morning when I saw something move in there - I mean not just move, but swim," She exclaimed to Street Level.  Cob Pond, the Artists' District only water supply has long since been thought biologically sterile and unable to support life.

After this morning's announcement many residents of the Artists' District were seen heading toward Cob Pond with fishing poles.

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville Bank Supports New Austerity Measures

Fieldville - Fieldville Band today showed its solidarity with the Council of Proctors in their austerity measures.

Fieldville Bank respects Council of Proctors' wishes

Thanks for your support

Council of Proctors New Austerity Measures Take Effect Today

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors new austerity measures take effect today. In order to comply with the proctors' orders, municipal workers have been ordered to "think out of the box".  One clever worker took a page from a local electrician and is now using duct tape on all city maintenance projects.

Duct tape now holds up Fieldville's mighty streetlights.

Street Level will report when they begin using duct tape for street repair.

Thanks for your support.

PROCTOR OF BOOKS INTRODUCES NEW EDITION OF THE WONDER BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE

Fieldville - The Proctor of Books has issued the newest edition of the Wonder Book of Knowledge.  Touted as the compendium of all sanctioned knowledge it will be a must for all citizens' households, this book will indispensable to every moral citizen in Fieldville.  This edition will also include useful charms and spells directly from Local #42 of the International Brotherhood of the Druidic Way.  Some of the spells include "Wart B-Gone", and the ever popular "Magic Potato".

Everything you are allowed to know.

Thanks for your support

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Tax Day a Success

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared Tax Day a success today.

Tax Day is a success.

Thanks for your support.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Declares Poor People Illegal

Fieldville - In a bold move Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus declared poor people illegal in Fieldville. When asked who would rake leaves and keep the country club manicured a spokesperson stated, "The council of proctors has decided they would outsource these important tasks.  In this way we can keep Fieldville pure and still have those necessary chores done.  The plan is to bus Cattown residents everyday at sunrise and have them out of Fieldville by sundown."

Citizens Laud the council in their progressive thinking on the poverty problem.  Today is Tax Day - pay  your taxes or you may find you are being bused in from Cattown to rake my leaves.

Poor people are now illegal in Fieldville

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville's New Smokestack

Filedville - Municipal workers today erected a new smokestack in the Cob Park fountain.  Citizens will now be able to stand closer to the fountain during Burn Daze and will be able to hear other citizens' loose talk that can be used against them during Accusation Day.

Municipal workers erect new chimney in the Cob Park fountain.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives State of Fieldville Address

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus laid to rest any doubts of citizenry about Fieldville's future.

Citizen are now perfectly at ease.

Thanks for your support - send sewer gas, aqueducts, cisterns, chicken quarters, IT Directors, HR Directors, any administrator of any kind, pool tables, and tweets to @cjswift

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Gives Cattown An Offer They Can't Refuse!

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus gave Cattown an offer they couldn't refuse!  A package, delivered by special courier, was dropped on the doorstep of Cattown City Hall. Beneath the package was a small note, which read, "you're stirring up the residents of our Artists' District with all your talk of working conditions and paying wages - stop or pay the consequences." The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has said, "Let them eat cake."

An Offer They Can't Refuse!

Thanks for your support - send Asian Carp, aggressive weed control, plastic jon boats, Iron Butterflies, Led Zeppelins, Phish, and tweets to @cjswift

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus Announces Fieldville Fun Daze

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus has announced the dates for Fieldville Fun Daze. "Our self has decided Fieldville Fun Daze will occur just before Accusation and Open Court Day this year,  We believe that moving Fun Daze will actually occasion more accusations than we had last year, and nothing is more fun than that." Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus went on to say, "Residents of Cattown and the Artists' District have been acting like citizens, demanding such things as pay and safe working conditions, those things are reserved for citizens, not mere residents."

Dear Beloved Supreme Leader -Tristmegistus is counting on more accusations this year.

Free Bird Spotted Over Moralton

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes hasn't incarcerated all resident pigeons, our Moralton correspondent captured this image of a free bird flying over Fieldville's closest ally - Moralton.

Free Bird spotted over Moralton!

Thanks for your support please send: Lynyrd Skynyrd posters, extra "Y"s, squab pie recipes, more guitar strings, Ronnie Van Zant riffs, better inspected Convair CV-240s, bands with less than ten deceased past band members, bands with less than ten deceased current band members, and tweets to @cjswift

Fieldville Incarcerated Resident Pigeons

Fieldville - No word yet on why resident pigeons have been incarcerated by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes.

Pigeons incarcerated!

Cattown Bows to the Demands of Non-Citizens

Fieldville - Professional Cattown watchers report strange happenings in the evildoing squalid Cattown.  It appears that the, never very affective, perplexing government is bowing to the demands of certain of their non-citizen populace.  Concessions to non-citizens now include state-of-the-art safety equipment on their dwelling places, is it any wonder that Cattown is the fetid pool of evil that it is?

State-of-the-art fire escapes added to Cattown non-citizens dwellings

Thanks for your support - send used ladders, folding chairs, ipads/phones/pods, master gardeners, flightless birds, invisible ink, and tweets to @cjswft

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Declares Self Tristmegistus

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader declared himself Tristmegistus of all the lands north of Cattown and east of Lead Junction.  To support the new title the Proctor of Justice and Taxes issued new levy on residents of the Artists' District, "Just the letterhead and signage alone is going to cost a fortune and it's time that the residents of the Artists' District did something worthwhile."  φόρους τρεις φορές or thrice taxes will be retroactive to the last Inferno Day.

Reports of Artists' District Residents trying to hide their hovels are rampant.

Artists' District residents try to cloak their hovels against the new Thrice Tax

Interim Minister of Morality Instructs Citizens

Fieldville - Today the interim Minister of Morality instructed citizens to be on their guard when coming in proximity with residents of the Artists' District. "Many residents of the Artists' District have taken to living together in what they refer to as a commune.  These communites, while useful for things like sweeping streets and raking leaves, are a danger to the moral hygiene of Fieldville.  Citizens should avoid the district unless they have proper papers and a deep understanding of moral hygiene.  There are reports of citizens doing what is referred to as "picking up chicks" in the district.  This is not allowed under any circumstances."

Citizens should not pick up chicks and avoid communites in the Artists' District!

Biff Reaches the Fourth Sphere

Fieldville - The Cob Café was all aflutter with the news that Biff has reached the Fourth Sphere.  It bodes well for Inferno Day next equinox, and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds all citizens it is also the dawning of the Age of Virgo during the Autumnal equinox and that means double taxes and considerably more justice if they like it or not.

Double taxes and more justice will be available this fall.

Fieldville Lawn Police Warns Citizens

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminded citizens that Lawn Police Season starts this weekend.  He read a prepared statement from the High Commissioner for Fieldville Beautification who warned citizens of conspicuous and blatant disdain and scorn of our sacred and ancient lovingly held precepts of lawn beauty and moral hygiene.  The commissioner said in his statement that Fieldville Lawn Police would be out IN FORCE this weekend with a "No Tolerance" order of enforcement.  Loss of citizenship is a real possibility for scofflaws.

Watchtower readied for Lawn Police Season.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader's 57th Dream

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has called for the Master of Local 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgic Path to interpret last night's dream.  In it he dreamt that the Flattburgh T-Parsers had invaded Fieldville and destroyed citizen's property and ran out all the Fieldville municipal workers.  The resulting chaos left Fieldville a virtual ruin.  The Brotherhood's Master is warning all citizens against panic, but has asked for increased donations to the Path next inferno day.

Don't let this happen to Fieldville!

Biff at Work on the Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Word reached Street Level today that Biff has been hard at work on his Fortress of Solitude.  Many in the council believe that Biff has something in mind to stem the tide of unpleasantness from the Flattburgh T-Parsers, but then again none one save Biff knows what goes on at the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff working late into the night on the Fortress of Solitude.

Flattburgh T-Parsers Attack Beloved Fieldville Smoking Trailer

Fieldville - Once again T-Parser thugs have attacked citizen property this time in the form of Fieldville's beloved smoking trailer which parks next to Cob Park.  Just as the Council of Proctors ordered children's strollers to be equipped with cup holders and ashtrays, T-Parsers buzz killed it all with their blatant disregard for all that is decent, when will it end?

Cup holders and ashtrays have been added to strollers for greater citizen enjoyment.

Flattburgh T-Parser Thugs Attack Outlying Tenent Farmers

Fieldville - Thugs from Flattburgh were seen near the scene of an unconscionable attack on a citizen's property.  Howard Stone, who owns the property, said his property was sacked by T-Parser Thugs late last night, "The trailer I provide for my tenets was severely damaged in the raid, luckily the tenet was not severely damaged and should be able to pay his rent on time."

In a note found nailed to the tenet's arm, the T-Parsers stated this was only the start, "Flatburgh will not put up with extraneous "T"s any longer.  Fieldville will cease and desist!" T-Parsers claim they have no recognized leadership and are only following each other around in circles.

Citizen's property severely damaged

Flattburgh Drops a "T" and Violates Probation

Flattburgh - The Emergency Provisional Citizens Bureau of Flattburgh voted today to drop one of the "T" in its name, no word yet just which one was dropped.  The EPCB of Flattburgh, in a prepared statement said, "Citizens of Flatburgh are sick and tired of adding an extra "T" every time they write and say the name of our great city, henceforth, citizens will only use one "T"."  There are rumors that citizens of the town formally known as Flattburgh have taken to writing the name of Fieldville as Fieldvile.

The Proctor of Treaties and Provisions indicated that probation agreed upon between Fieldville and Flattburgh clearly had two "T"s.  Any adjustments would have to be agreed to by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader and the entire Council of Proctors.

Flattburgh's Citizen Assembly Hall shows clear violation of their treaty with Fieldville

Uppity Artists' District Residents Open Shop

Fieldville - Citizens are aghast at the audacity of certain denizens of the Artists' District, who set up a shop of sort without applying for full citizenship.  This morning many citizens at the Cob Café said so, in so many words, while opining over all the import topics current...

What next from the Artists' District?

Biff Enhances His Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Citizens and the denizens of the Artists' District noticed today that Biff has been enhancing his Fortress of Solitude.  The Council of Proctors is in the process of issuing an ale license to Biff.

Proctors issuing an ale license to Biff.

Biff Ponders the Thaumaturgical Mean from the Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - Even the very moieties themselves will tremble when Biff contemplates the Thaumaturgical Mean. New Uber Biff is hard at work contemplating the mysteries that make Fieldville great and Cattown a den of poxy evildoers - with these matters on his mind we not see him until Sun Daze when all citizens light a tire in the Cob Park fountain bringing the spring back to Fieldville.

Uber Biff Ponders from the Fortress of Solitude

Biff's Fortress of Solitude

Fieldville - This day will be a day that will echo down all known history of Fieldville as the day when Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader bestowed upon Biff the title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker.  Biff retired to his so-called Fortress of Solitude to meditate on his new duties.

Biff retires to his Fortress of Solitude to ponder his new title of The Über Vollstecker  Rod of Righteous Divine Justice Maker

Thanks for your support

Biff Emcees THE BIG SALE

Cob Park - Today Biff emceed THE BIG SALE, to the delight of citizens and residents alike.  Biff, known throughout the Free Territories of Fieldville for his wit, charm, and general bon viveur, stole the show as he liquidated all the useless assets and decorations from the government buildings of Fieldville.  Citizens purchased everything available and promptly donated them back the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader. Biff smiled and waved to the crowd, as he jumped into the Biff-mobile, and raced off to his special place that he calls the Fortress of Solitude.

Biff - seen here adjusting the mighty Cob Park PA system.

Biff to be Featured at This Week's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!!!!

Fieldville - Biff is making a mad dash from Puerto de Mud Lake to be the Emcee at tomorrow's EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE.  His spokesman told Street Level today, he wouldn't miss it and might even consider buying some of the windows and doors from the palace and reinstalling them as a gesture of good will toward Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.  The spokesman went on to say that ALL citizens BETTER should consider donating part ALL of their purchases to Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader.  He reminded everyone that the Minister of Morality will be monitoring  ALL CITIZENS the event.

Biff asks all citizens, and even the residents of the Artists' District, to bring baskets of cob notes, because they'll be sorry if THEY DON'T they miss anything! 

Biff to Emcee the MANDATORY BIG SALE

War Horses Only Regular Cattown Satanic Beasts

Fieldville - A closer inspection of yesterday's photo turned out to be just regular Cattown Satanic Beasts.  The Council of Proctors issues a sigh of relief.  The big sale is still on!

No problem just Cattown Satanic Beasts, whew.

What is Cattown Up To Now!

Fieldville - Just as citizens get ready for the Fieldville EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE!!!! there are rumors that the evildoers of Cattown are up to no good.  A quick witted citizen snapped this picture this morning of a huge herd of horses massing on the steep slopes near Cattown.  Does anyone think they are other than WAR HORSES?

What are the evildoers of Cattown up to?

Proctors Amass Assets

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors today began amassing Fieldville assets for the big 50% off sale to be held in Cob Park next week.  The Big 50% OFF EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE is expected net enough sales to fund the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader for almost a month.  "Citizens have said they don't want the cost of citizenship to go up, and we've heard them," said the Proctor of Finance and Magic. "Everything must go as we fund only the essential portions of the Free Territories of Fieldville, such as the Council of Proctors and Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader."

Everything must go

Emergency Emergency Council Session Called

Council of Proctors today issued the 100 Billion Cob note to cover expensive items like pencils and used wood shavings. The Council of Proctors is working to make all citizens lives' More Better. The proctors are currently taking bids on doors and windows from the palace to cover the new currency.

Council of Proctors Orders New Austerity Measures

Fieldville - After an emergency meeting of the Council of Proctors Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, through his spokesman, has agreed to new austerity measures in order to save ink in printing new Cob notes and to better serve citizens.  The Council of Proctors has begun to sell certain Fieldville assets in order to better serve citizens.  Beginning today, the slate shingles on the palace will be removed and sold to increase the size of the Free Territories of Fieldville emergency fund, which is used to pay Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's small stipend and the small honorarium provided to the Council of Proctors.  In addition, several hour of the day have been removed to save additional money.  Citizens rejoice at the wisdom of the council.

Useless decorations and hours to be sold for valuable cobs.

New Cob notes to be issued tomorrow which will solve all problems and everything will be perfect.

Thanks for your support

Send slate shingles, artwork, bridges, more taxes, airwaves, public buildings, public trust, more fear, more fees, and tweets to @cjswift

Found on the beach in Puerto de Mud Lake

Proctors baffled at the find!

Our Dear Supreme Leader Orders a New Portrait

Puerto de Mud Lake - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has ordered a new portrait.  The Proctor of Art and Regulation is rumored to have had a meeting with Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader,  in which he stated that not only did he want his face on all cob notes, but also in the hearts of all citizens.  The Minister of Science and Regulation is reportedly working on a way to inject the portrait directly in the heart of the citizenry.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader - MMXI

Thanks for your support.

Fieldville's Minister of Morality Urges Shunning

Fieldville - The Minister of Morality today urged citizens to shun neighbors who openly practice tree bondage.  "It has come to our attention that certain of the citizenry have been openly practicing tree bondage," the plucky minister said.  "This kind of thing happens in the Artists' District all the time, but it is not going to be tolerated of decent tax-paying citizens."

Tree bondage will not be tolerated!

Thanks for your support - send snow blowers, pruning saws, chains, fish stix, Twinkies, beaches, surf, palm trees, flip flops, and tweets to @cjswift

Grimy Sees Shadow!!!!

Fieldville - This morning Grimy crawled out of the storm drain and saw his shadow.  The head of Local # 42 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Way read the augury and pronounced six more months of Winter.

Six more months of Winter - gee, thanks Grimy!