Artists' District to Get Its Own Bus

Fieldville - In an almost maniacal burst of spending before the end of the year, the Council of Proctors agreed to buy a bus for the Artists' District.

A New Bus for the Artists' District

Fieldville's Children Pull End O' Year Pranks

Fieldville - In what has become a tradition in Fieldville, the children of Fieldville took up their spray cans and decorated one of the cars of the Fieldville/Iowa City Railways.

Fieldville Youth Have a Lot to Answer For Today

Fieldville - In what has been described as a "Morality Riot" by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes, Fieldville teenagers trashed the balcony of the Cob Theater last night.  Shortly before curfew, the concession stand ran out of Grimy Pop Classic™ and started substituting it with Sugar-Free Grimy Pop™, and then as witnesses have recounted, "It was like Saturday night in the Artists' District."  No word yet on what punishment Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader will visit upon Fieldville's teenagers.

The aftermath of Grimy Pop Classic™ abuse.

When Cats Go Bad

Fieldville - Fieldville's pigeon population is furious about yet something else this week.  As you may recall earlier they were complaining about all the dirty humans that were infesting the ground around Cob Park, now they're complaining about cats.  As you know Fieldville's cats all live in the Artists' District as it is not considered patriotic for a citizen to harbor a cat in his residence after the unfortunate and unprovoked war with Cattown.

Fieldville pigeon are complaining about Artists' District cats.

Biff at the Edge of the Earth

Biff is at the edge of the earth assuring all citizens that the sun is no longer disappearing.

Biff Saving Fieldville

Fieldville City Workers Remove Cob Avenue

Fieldville - City crews today removed Cob Avenue so that Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader have put in what he describes as a "Ped Mall".  Our forward thinking Dear Beloved Supreme Leader says that if citizens are going to continue to complain about parking he has a solution: TAKE AWAY ALL THE PARKING.  He has suggested that this is the last he wants to hear about parking - PERIOD, or else the entire square will be turned into a ped mall.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader's "Parking Solution"

Thanks for your support

Citizens Do Not Confront Large Flightless Birds!

Fieldville - Citizens are being warned against confronting the large sun-stealing flightless bird which has been plying the streets of Fieldville. The Proctor of Justice and Taxes reminds citizens that Biff is a professional.

Citizens do not try this at home

Fieldville Pigeons are Sick of Dirty People.

Fieldville - Pigeons living around Cob Park are sick to death of all the dirty humans infesting the ground around the park. More and more pigeon parents are using humans as anti role models to instruct their fledglings. "Humans walk on the ground, do you have any idea what's on the ground?" one pigeon father was heard to say. If weren't for the garbage dumpsters and great roosting, many pigeons have expressed their desire to move to Cattown, except for its unfortunate name.

Fieldville pigeons are sick to death of dirty humans

Check Your Backdoor for Flightless Birds

Fieldville - The palace issued a statement regarding reports of a flightless bird in Fieldville. "Reports of a large flightless bird within the free territories of Fieldville are completely unfounded.  The Council of Proctors believe that the superstition of a large flightless bird carrying away the sun originated in the so-called Artists' District.  Citizens should feel safe in their homes as long as they have paid their taxes and complied with all emergency procedures issued by the Council. The Council of Proctors wishes to remind all citizens that Biff has been found and all is well.

Reports of large flightless birds are totally unfounded.

Thanks for your support

Biff Found in the Frozen North

Suburbandale - Biff was found today fighting off the giant flightless bird that takes the sun away every year at this time.  Biff defeat him and then come back and save us from Grimy's Claws!

Biff fighting off the Sun Stealer

Citizens Hurry to Decorate Their Yule-Tide Torso Tribute

☠WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS☠ ☠GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF WICKER☠

☠TORSOS AND REFERENCES TO CLAWS☠

Fieldville - Citizens are hurrying to have their Yule-tide Torsos up and decorated by sundown today.  As has been known for generations of Fieldvillians, a Torso Tribute at Yule-Tide will fend off not only the lost of the sun, but also is an effective ward against Grimy's Claws.  As citizen pack the East Side Strip Mall looking for Torso Decorations, the Council of Proctors are meeting to discuss this years tire-burning in the Cob Park Fountain.

Citizens ready their Yule-Tide Torso Tributes to ward off Grimy's Claws.

Thanks for your support.

☉ur ⊃ear ≾upreme ∟eader Tracks Grimy Claws Progress

Fieldville, The Palace - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has been personally tracking Grimy Claws as he makes his way from the North Pole near Suburbandale to the skies above Fieldville.  As the sun disappears this year no one has heard from Biff since his encounter with the Evil Monster Zombie Thingie.  Barring a miracle, Fieldville will be defenceless against Grimy Claws.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes assures citizens, current on their tax payments, they will be safe if they follow all emergency edicts and compulsory behaviors.

Grimy Claws is Getting Closer.

Tusk Being Readied for This Years Snow

Fieldville - Municipal workers today began to ready "Tusk", Fieldville's mighty snow removal machine, for the scheduled weekend snow storm.  The massive machine will ply the streets of Fieldville and push the snow into the Artists' District where it will melt into sooty slush that will linger well into the spring.

Tusk being readied for snow.

Grimy Claws is Coming to Town

Fieldville Children Begin to See Grimy in the Sky

Fieldville - as the solstice approaches children of citizens have begun to see Grimy in the skies over Fieldville.  Last night a citizen caught evidence of Grimy over Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Path. The Proctor of Rules and Procedures wants to remind citizen parents to curb their enthusiasm when it comes to working their children into a lather about the upcoming Grimy visit.

Grimy over Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgical Path

Proctor of Rules and Procedures Warns Citizen Parents

Fieldville - The Proctor of Rules and Procedures warned parents today that jocular discussions with their children regarding a citizen's duty to pay taxes is monitored and will not be tolerated.  The card below was intercepted at the Fieldville Post Office and the parents are currently at a retraining facility near the Fieldville Tire Station Fire.  Don't let this happen to you.

Watch what you say.

Giant Snails Continue to Slime Fieldville's Railroads

Breaking ---

Suburbandale Reports Tax Scofflaws

Suburbandale - Officials here report the spread of invisibility to the world famous Meat Cattle Show. The spell for invisibility was published on  quickyleaks infernets site.  The perfidious member of Local # 34 of the Brotherhood of Thaumaturgy Path who leaked the spell has not been identified and it is believe that he is somewhere in the Artists' District in hiding.

The invisibility spell has spread to the world-famous Suburbandale Meat Cattle Show

Thanks for your support

A Deeper Look Into the So Called Ghost Phenomenon

Fieldville - The Council of Proctors has been looking deeper into the so called ghost phenomenon, and the Proctor of Justice and Taxes is warning of a severe crack down on the so called ghosters. The proctor stated, "Apparently a rouge member of Local #34 of the Brotherhood of the Thaumaturgy Path (BTP34) sold an invisibility spell to some perfidious citizens who believe that being invisible exempts them from taxes.  Nothing could be further from the truth. visible or not citizens and residents of the Artists' District are taxed fairly under the emergency rules of the Council of Proctors."

Citizens flaunting their taxation duties.

Further evidence of tax evasion.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader Objects to Ghost Performers

Fieldville - Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader has issued a statement through the Proctor of Forms and Public Information, objecting to the recent use of ghost performers at the Cob Cafe during their Open Mic Night.  According to the proctor, Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader believes that ghost performers send the wrong message to Fieldville's youth, and leads to youth visiting the Artists' District.

Ghost Performers endanger Fieldville's youth!

Thanks for your support.

Beyond the Edge of the World

Fieldville - Former Fieldville citizens Ken and Hattie Kanton have returned from beyond the edge of the world.  Gone for years, the couple returned unexpectedly to Cob Park this morning.  In the words of one citizen, "they were all scruffy like and had a funny kind of accent, but you could see that it was them, sort of."  Street Level is expecting an interview later today, if we can make sense out of their heavily accented foreign speech.

Ken and Hattie Kanton with "Sam", as seen at the Cob Park Community Center this morning.

Thanks for your support

The Proctor of Historic Rehabilitation and Razing's Personal Residence Will be used as a Morality Play

Fieldville - The Proctor of Historic Rehabilitation and Razing is contemplating his own historic residence as the central theme in a new morality play.  It has long been rumored that the proctor invested heavily in high fructose derivative bonds and has suffered a bit of a set back in his own fortunes.  He has commissioned Street Level, with the permission of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader, the Council of Proctors, and the Interim Ministry of Morality to develop a short story that will help the youth of Fieldville understand the importance of citizenship and good moral hygiene during the upcoming "Loss of the Sun Ceremonies".  It is sure to be a blockbuster this season since, it will be required reading for every citizen.  More, as it becomes available.

The proctor's residence will be used as a backdrop for a morality play 

Citizens - Curfew Your Children

Fieldville - The interim Minister of Morality issued a statement today concerning children of citizens, "Now is the time to panic, curfew your children.  We have learned that the deadly hovering Cattown Fruit has been spotted hovering over Crick Creek. We all remember what happened the last time Cattown Fruit found its way into Fieldville."

We all remember the scenes of children citizens flaunting morality by openly walking in the Artists' District, and listening to morally inappropriate Artists' District music like the demonic "Let's Lay Down Our Sticks and Stones and Make Peace with Cattown".  Some citizen children took to calling Cattown Fruit "Electric Banana".

So called Electric Bananas seen hovering over Crick Creek!!!

Thanks for your support

Citizens Line Up for the New Big Cob

Fieldville - This morning citizens began lining up to be one of the first to taste the new Big Cob at Cobburger.  Described as an all meat pattie it is sure to be a hit.  But wait, it doesn't stop there, for just a few more Fieldville Cobs you get a quart of Grimy Pop Classic™ and a slab of fried Cattown potatoes served in a Styrofoam box with a cartoon picture of Grimy on the outside, does it get any better than that?

Citizens line up to experience the new Big Cob at Cobburger

Work Moves Ahead to Move Old Fieldville

Fieldville - Work started today to move Old Fieldville to the dump near Cattown.  "We are pleased to begin work on this important project so quickly.  The fine weather is an omen that shows this project is blessed and righteous," the Proctor of Raising and Razing stated this morning.

Work began today on moving Old Fieldville to the dump.

Fieldville Jail to be moved next construction season

Fieldville - Today the Proctor of Justice and Taxes announced the replacement of the current Fieldville Prison Complex. "We plan to move the complex to the newly available seized land that has been dubbed Old Fieldville by some," the proctor stated in his weekly report, "The State of Fieldville".  The Proctor of Preservation and Demolition was quick to add that Old Fieldville would be carefully moved to the site that is currently known as the Fieldville Dump, just outside of Cattown.

Fieldville Prison Complex to be moved to the so called Old Fieldville site.

Thanks for your support

The Palace Couldn't be Reached Today

Thanks for your support!

Justice and Taxes Enforcers Now Armed

Fieldville - the Proctor of Justice and Taxes has issued side arms to all tax enforcers, to assure fair and balanced justice.  In addition, the proctor has set up a ticket booth at the entrance of Old Fieldville, to recapture the cost of raking the leaves and the proctors' time making policies concerning the myth of demockrazy in the old city.

Justice and Taxes Enforcers will now better serve you with side arms.

Wherein I Discover Wonderful Things

Dear patient reader, know that I was drawn to see the sights of Old Fieldville's ancient stones, and all the stories they could reveal.  I took it upon myself to walk there, and found no one with a similar disposition on this sunny day.  I had heard the stories where the citizens of this mysterious citadel practiced the odd and troubling act of demockrazy in the open and amongst their neighbors.  My dear reader, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.  I apprehended a ruined tower among the ruined stones, and proceeded to the same, with all haste.  Know that climbing it was an arduous process, and not without its own adventure, but truly what I found at the top was beyond all comprehension.

As a ascended to the last level, I beheld an empty socket of a window, and what I peered from it astonished me.  What I saw was not our dear beloved Fieldville, but instead a madman's monkey puzzle of towers and roads that scarcely could be given credence. The golden dominance of this false Fieldville captured my eye, and for awhile I could not tear away my gaze.  I believe that only Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader can grasp the significance of what I saw, I pray that he will elucidate its meaning for the likes of us.

Only Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader in his wisdom can explain this.

Palace Breaks Silence

Fieldville - The palace has issued an official policy statement regarding the discovery of the so called Old Fieldville. In the words of the Proctor of Science and Parades, "The so called discovery of the so called Old Fieldville is welcomed by the Council of Proctors and indeed by Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader himself.  We believe that thoughtful citizens will realize that so called demockrazy that was practiced in Old Fieldville is nothing but propaganda spread from the evil-doers of Cattown.  Everyone knows that Cattowners vote and have no permanent government, but instead hold periodic festivals where they select the government from ordinary citizens.

Palace debunks demockrazy rumors about Old Fieldville.

THIS JUST IN!!!

Fieldville - While directing his residents on the proper method of raking, a citizen on the south edge of town discovered "Old Fieldville".  For as long as history has been recorded, there have been persistent rumors of the mythical "Old Fieldville".  While denied by scientists as bunk, the rumors persisted, mostly fueled by the numerous folkloric songs that come from the hills outside of town.  Such songs as "The Battle of Crick Creek", and the ever popular "The Old Stones of Fieldville".  Scientists have pointed out for years that there are no stones in Fieldville.

No word from the palace as to the official stance on Old Fieldville, as all citizens know the myth is that in old Fieldville everyone was a citizen and was able to vote for the Council of Proctors and even the leader, then known as Mayor (a term in old Fieldvillian which meant duly elected chief council person)

The Mythical Old Fieldville was Discovered Today While Raking Leaves

Thanks for your support

Ⓞur ⅅear ℬeloved ⋨upreme ૌeader is Not Amused

Fieldville - Ⓞur ⅅear ℬeloved ⋨upreme  ૌeader is not amused with the introduction of Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader™ brand pets into citizens' homes.  He is quoted as saying, " We are not amused by these so called pets."

Where these pets originated is under some doubt, but most citizens point to the Artists' District as the genesis.

Thanks for your support

Shades of Yesteryear

Fieldville - As the clock ticks inexorably toward Weenight, citizens and residents alike are preparing for the beloved holiday.  In addition to laying in bushels of sweets and potatoes for the bands of roving children and residents of the Artists' District, they are also boarding up windows and firing up their electric fences in preparation. In the words of one citizen. "it's better to be safe than sorry."

In other news Our Beloved Dear Supreme Leader is being his trickster self by appearing in vignettes featuring his beloved self as he appeared last year.  Below is an image that citizens were treated to in cob park today.

Our Dear Beloved Supreme Leader enjoys the lead up to Weenight

Thanks for your support

Where is Biff?

Where is our dear Biff?

Oh, Biff, no!

Did the evil monster zombie thingie eat Biff's brain?  Oh, Biff, oh.  All we found was an "X" of light in the backyard.

Oh, the humanity!

NO,NO, NO, BIFF, NO!

No, Biff, no! The evil monster zombie thingie, will eat your brains. Don't let the evil monster thingie bite you. No, Biff, no!

Thank you for your support, watch your brains.

Oh, Biff, Oh!

Oh, Biff, Oh! Evil zombie monster thingies can't be choked, they can't be choked - you are sooo in trouble dude!

Biff, like um, don't let the evil zombie monster thingie bite you dude!

Biff, No!!!!!

No, Biff, no!  Watch your back dude there is an evil monster zombie coming toward you!

Council of Proctors Begins to Stockpile Sharp Objects

Fieldville - Proctor observers have told Street Level that there is good evidence of the council stockpiling of sharp objects.  A spokesperson for Local 42 of the Brotherhood of the Druidic way stated that many stockpiling of sharp object omens have been appearing in the skies above Fieldville this week.  Also, a piece of toast (shown below) seems to show the stockpiling at one of the Proctors Sheds.

Does this toast bode well for the upcoming twelfth nights?

Thanks for your support - watch your back!

Council of Proctors Issues New Certificate Honoring Itself

Fieldville - The beloved Council of Proctors has issued a certificate honoring it's achievements.  Every dutiful citizen will want one gracing their walls.

Thanks for your support!

Fieldville Citizens Urged to Use More Water

Fieldville - The Proctor of Human Resources and Utilities said today, citizens are not using enough Fieldville water.  He suggested that some maybe using illegal wells.  Citizens are reminded that using water not taxed by Fieldville is a crime and is punishable in several unpleasant ways.

Do Your Duty - Use More Taxable Water!

New Chic Chapeau Styles of Fieldville

Fieldville - The citizens of Fieldville once again have found a way to express their fashion sense.  This year it is the "Chapeau"  Look for it at the East Side Strip Mall and the Fish Lane Liquor Store. The new black is blue.

Thanks for your support

Our Dear Supreme Leader Orders a Change in Light

Fieldville - Today Our Dear Supreme Leader ordered a change to golden light for the Autumn and Ween Season.

Our Dear Supreme Leader Orders Light Change

Thanks for your support

Justice and Taxes to Rid Fieldville of Truck Loss

Fieldville - The Proctor of Justice and Taxes pledged to the Council of Proctors, he will rid Fieldville of the Truck Loss menace. In a prepared statement the proctor stated, "Our citizens have spoken and they will not tolerate the loss of their beloved trucks. Justice and Taxes enforcers have been dispatched to the far corners of Fieldville to battle this scourge upon our very way of life."

Strong words from the Proctor of Justice and Taxes.

Justice and Taxes enforcers move to purge the scourge of truck loss.

Thanks for your support.

Trucks Missing from the Trans-Fieldville Highway

Fieldville - Citizens have been reporting cases of missing trucks from the Trans-Fieldville Highway. First it was missing cattle, not overly large farm trucks, where will it end?

Trucks Missing!

Thanks for your support.

Grumpy Fieldville Children are a Buzz Kill

Fieldville - The recent change in weather has made many citizen children out of sorts.  Our Dear Supreme Leader has decreed that grumpy children are a buzz kill for the whole town, "We have many important festivals and celebrations coming up and we don't need whiny children."

A palace spokesperson hastened to say that Our Dear Supreme Leader loves all the citizen children of Fieldville and many children of residents alike.

Our Dear Supreme Leader loves almost all Fieldville's children

Thanks for your support

Fieldville Farmers Find Fields Favorable For Fructose

Fieldville - In a flurry Fieldville farmers have been in their fall fields harvesting this year's crop of high fructose.

Fieldville Fructose Farm.

Thanks for your support

Citizen Claims Ride in a Strange Craft

Fieldville - A citizen today claimed he was abducted and taken high into the air above Fieldville.  Everyone at the Cob Cafe was all astir of his account. 

Donald Frizbee of Fish Lane stated, "These here funny looking folks took me clean out of my backyard whilst I was checkin' my rain gauge.  They took me up in this flying thing and showed me a real good time.  I was sorry when they took me back down, but that ship of theirs kinda smelled like a cattle barn."

Citizen Frizbee said the strangers gave him a picture of Cow Flop Hill at the edge of town, but your trusty reporter can't make head or tails of it.

Why did the strangers take Mr. Frizbee's toothpaste?

Locales Around Fieldville Report Missing Cattle

Fieldville - A number of strange cases of missing cattle have been cropping up in Fieldville.  The Proctor of Justice and Taxes as well as the Proctor of Meat and Jell-O Salads are on the case.

Missing Cattle Reported Around Fieldville