The 7 (sic) Levels of Hell

Canto 1

On the day of 9-9-9 I found myself at the Crick County side of Kewash trail - the trail that leads to that other county.  As I walked deeper into the wood the enjoyable sound of ATVs faded and was replaced by an unearthly silence.  There came a great rush of wind and the trees did sough.  There in front of me stood Virgil Smith the late poet laureate of Crick County.

"Street Level," he said.  "Why have you come to the deep wood of the Kewash?"

I said, "It is the day of nines oh lariat Smith."

He did say to me, "That's laureate and call me Virgil"...[the manuscript is partially obscured here]

Canto 5

And then we did come to a great portal which upon it was writ - "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here" 

"What is this place?" I asked the poet.

"It isn't Kansas, dude.  We're going to some like seriously rash place, so suck it up and let's go." the poet said beckoning me forward...[lacuna]

Canto 9

As we stepped from the boat the boatman pointed a skeletal finger at me, "I have to validate your boarding pass for entry into the 7 levels of hell."

I wailed with trepidation, "but I left my pass back on the other side, and anyway it's supposed to be 9 levels of hell not 7."

The boatman dropped his hand and did say, "The lawyers from the Chamber of Malls sued us over that one.  We had to drop Gluttony and Avarice  - they pointed out that those are our patriotic and economic duties and as such can no longer be considered sin....[lacuna]

Tomorrow the first level.

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