Today's news is brought to you by the CP Pub located in beautiful downtown Fieldville on the corner of Corn Street and Cob Avenue...Now on to the story.
Fieldville - the Council of Proctors has issued a "No Holds Barred" challenge to local bikests - "Either follow rules or face more rules and signs." "I don't think we can get any clearer than that," said the Proctor of Signs in a prepared statement from the council. "When we set rules they're to be followed or else." We'll return to the news in a moment.
Had a bad day? Need a bit of camaraderie? The Confined Pig Pub is waiting - we want your seat in one of ours. The Confined Pig Pub is the only place in Fieldville where you can get a Confined Pig Pub Coaster. We're here for all your eating and drinking needs. Hankering for something fried, we have tenderloins the size of manhole covers. Need a starch fix try our "Quart O' Fries" a quart of lard fried french fries salted to your taste. If you are real Fieldvillian try our "CPP Real Deal" in a basket. The Real Deal Basket includes two tenderloins, a Quart O' Fries, and two quarts Flatburgh full flavor lager. The Real Deal will satisfy the most discriminating tastes. Now back to the news...
The splash back from increased signage will be a major hike in property taxes, according to the Proctor of Justice and Taxes. We will be following this story closely over the next few weeks.
Thanks for your support - send industrial deep-fat fryers, semi loads of potatoes, barrels of salt, edible tallow, chemical fertilizers, single crop farming, and tweets to @cjswift
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