Saturday, September 26, 2009

Cattown Turns Back Fieldville Posse

Fieldville - the Fieldville Fire Department has the Tire Station Fire 5% under control, so we turn to more pressing business.  Just at press time the posse, organized by the Proctor of Justice and Taxes, was turned back at the outskirts of Cattown by a group of Cattowners with catapults and trebuchets

Cattowners catapult children and pets toward the Fieldville posse

The evil doers in Cattown have stepped over the line by using children and pets to fight their battles, can you even imagine using a pet that way?  With evil doers like that Street Level believes that, any action by Fieldville against them would be justified.

We talked to the dejected posse as they stumbled back into town.  "There was like this rain of kids and then like a rain of cats and dogs, my god, I just can't talk about it," said one veteran of the Battle of Cattown. 

Another said, "It wasn't so bad at first, it was just like goldfish and a few stray Chihuahuas, but then they started with overfed indoor cats and junior high kids, we just weren't prepared for anything like it."

The Proctor of Justice and Taxes has called the actions of Cattown despicable and tantamount to the behavior of Texans.  "We thought that even Cattown would at least live up to their place in Crick County and not act like a bunch of Central Texas thugs,"  he said to Street Level.  "It's time we showed them which county they belong to, and what it means to have the Council of Proctors watching over your every best interest.  We're sending down every licensed hunter in the county  and we have a few other things up our sleeves."

Stay tuned tomorrow for more in-depth coverage of this breaking story.

Thanks for your support - send an entire boxed set of DVDs from the Paint Drying Channel, Roy Rodgers singing early Dylan, William Shatner singing anything, trenching tools, trebuchets, war wagons, flying machines, jukeboxes, parking meters, coin operated clockwork palm trees, and tweets to cjswift 




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